anewlife (:

2012-03-02T11:20:00.000-08:00

And so... The picture above is (obviously) me at the Singapore Airshow 2012! I know that this is a little bit overdue but I just wanted to share what I've been doing for the past few days. Finally I decided to take a time out from work and do something else besides scooping ice creams & making coffees. Anyway, it was my Dad who badly wanted to go to the Airshow. Honestly, I didn't know about this event until my Dad asked me to tag along. And I said why not. Although I'm not really keen about aeronautics, I think it would be interesting to wander around. Furthermore, my Mum was the one who paid the ticket for me ;) Thank you! There were thousands of people and almost everyone of them has a DSLR with extending, huge lenses. I was eyeing on all those lenses instead of the jets and planes. Sigh. I wonder when can I get one of those... I shot many scenes during the Airshow but I'm too lazy to upload it on Facebook. I didn't even get a chance to view all of the 495 pictures. Well anyway, I enjoyed myself although there wasn't much things that aroused my enthusiasm while I was there.

The next thing I wanted to share was the unsuccessful trekking at Bukit Timah Nature Reserve with Zhorfan. I have to accept the fact that I cannot become a fit and sporty girl. I thought trekking was a brilliant idea to make a first move to become healthy and fit. But I was absolutely wrong. It was kind of a last minute plan because Zhorfan and I met up around 4pm at Bukit Timah. We got lost, almost chased by a monkey & worst of all was that we didn't even make it through half of the nature reserve because I was already lethargic & hungry -.- Also, we were both too afraid that it might rain. So, safety first, we decided to just stopped 'hiking'. I was the one who planned this and I was the one who gave up on it. *face palm* At the end of the day, we had our dinner at Pizza Hut. That was the best part of the day. :D

Last but not least, I've already watched Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close with Taufiq. (: All throughout the movie, the whole cinema was totally mute. But Taufiq said there were people crying. Maybe I was too engrossed in the movie until I didn't realise whatever happened around me. It was an awesome touching story but, just like the main character in the movie, I am still trying to figure out the meaning of the title. I'm still hoping that one day I'll find the book in Popular or Borders or even the library because I've been searching it since last year. & I can't be bothered to order online because I don't know how and confessing this make me sound like a noob.

Time check: 0316. I can't sleep. But I think it's best if I force myself to go to bed. Goodnight lovelies. (:

2012-03-01T07:00:00.000-08:00

It’s 1^st March baby! I’m turning seventeen in exactly 14 more days and I wished I could spend my birthday at Cik Kas’s house in Batam. Frankly, I’m not expecting anything special for my birthday this year. I don’t give two hoots anymore about birthdays because it’s just the person getting older. Other than that, it’s the same shit different day kind of thing. Nonetheless, it would be great if somebody surprise me a Swatch watch as a birthday gift. (: Altogether, there are 5 March babies that I know. One of them is my mother. I’m afraid I couldn’t hand them any gifts because my pocket & bank is so dry. I’ll only have some cash on the 25 March because it’s pay day. I’ll contemplate whether or not to purchase anything for anyone because lately, I’m not in the mood to go shopping.

Anyway, life is great these days. Simply because…. Because…. I’m high in love? Haha! It’s kind of unbelievable as I thought I’m not going to fall for anyone till I graduate from Poly. But unexpected things happen. Well anyway, it feels awesome that I’m always on somebody’s mind. It’s not anymore an unrequited love. And oh! I’m not in a relationship okay. Still riding solo & it has been over a year. It’s just that currently my heart is taken. Hmm, everything is so blissful now but I know that good things come to an end. Only God knows how awful my life can change into. Whatever happens, I’ll just go with the flow and I’ll try my best not to let my loved ones slip off my hands anymore. Another thing, it’s wonderful that I got to talk again to my best friend. I miss her tremendously. Though I assume things wouldn’t be the same like how it used to, at least, I hope we could still keep in touch with each other. <3

2012-02-14T11:33:00.000-08:00

“I was stranded in a world of darkness and my emotions reached its zenith.”

Time check: 2.45a.m. By the time I complete with this post, most probably my Timeline at twitter will be dead because everyone heads to bed already. I can’t seem to sleep right now because I’m currently uptight by a couple of things. One of the few is the pimple right underneath my left eye. It hurts and it is frigging annoying because it blocks my vision most of the time, especially when I glance my eyes to the left. Desperately, I need to remove this pimple away as rapidly as possible! The other problems, I guess it is better for me to keep it to myself.

I’m currently missing a bunch of people. Ever since my last exam & the fact that I already graduated, I lost touch with my friends. It’s rather poignant that I’m actually drifting away from the people whom I used to be close to. Everyone seems to mind their own business now. However, when I reflect upon my life, I think that it was me who pushed them away. Initially, my friends made the initiative to meet up but in the end, I was the one who refuse to spend time with them because of work. It’s tedious to balance work and personal life. I finally come to the conclusion that maybe they’re sick and tired of hearing the same excuses from me. Therefore, maybe…. Maybe they forget about me? L Well, I don’t know okay. For all I know is that I have fewer friends now. I can’t believe that the girl who used to have lots of friends turns out feeling that she’s ostracized. The girl who was once bubbly with an effervescent personality is now wishing that somebody could come up and say that you are not alone.

2012-02-08T11:03:00.000-08:00

Have you guys watched Journey 2: Mysterious Island yet? If you have not, I highly recommend you to get your tickets now and experience an amazing journey in the cinema! I guarantee that you'll never regret spending your money on it ;) Two days ago, I had a date with Linda and we went to catch the movie and did some shopping. No wait. Linda did shopping, I just accompanied her grab her stuffs. I was broke. And I'm still broke. I left with merely $70 in my bank which I will need it to survive for another 20 days. Sounds impossible, not? But I've no options because my parents won't back me up. Seems that I gotta be on diet. Sigh.

Back to the story, I enjoyed the time we had together especially because it has been a while since we went out and had our own private conversation. There were so many things to catch up despite the fact that we met quite often due to work. But when we're working, we don't have so much time to share 101 stories. I finally decided to tell her what's has been bothering me for the past 2 years. I'm glad she understands me. Thank you babe <3 And the same cycle goes on whenever I share those stories to someone. It'll just make me feel so stupid. And to think about it, it makes me stupider to mourn over it again. I know Linda is definitely shocked and maybe disappointed as well as mad at me but I'm thankful she still loves me. Hehe :P Okay whatever, scrap it off. I'm going to have a date with Mumtaz tomorrow. Yay! :D As per normal, I think I'm going to be late because right now is almost to 3am and I have to meet her at 1pm. Which also means that I need to wake up at 10am to get things done ._. Will that be possible? I don't know but I will try. Good night!

2012-02-06T10:26:00.000-08:00

Apparently, it has been weeks since I last update my blog. Sorry to those readers who dropped by and discovered that my blog was restricted. It was only temporary, of course. This isn't my private blog where I have secrets to hide. Hehe :P The reason was because I wanted to make some changes to it, especially the skin. Unfortunately, there were no interesting skins that matched my taste. Therefore, I activated it as private until my blog looks new and fresh. If you're observant enough, I don't own a shoutbox anymore because the free contract is now over. I refused to buy the Premium one because I know most of my readers won't bother to leave a message after visiting. However, I might consider it only if my blog starts being alive once more.

Just so you know, the real talking begins at the next paragraph because the one above is just a short notice. :P

I've been up to nothing lately except for work. Yup, endlessly working. Call me a workaholic, yes you may, because I myself agree that I am not taking a break from my occupation. Put the blame on my night shift, getting home almost to 12.30a.m everyday and not getting enough sleep. Furthermore, all due to work, I can’t find the time to blog and do the things I used to. By the way, I'm getting the hang of doing heavy workload but frankly, I am still hoping to find a better and more relaxing job. But tell me, which job isn't tiring? I'm just waiting for March where I will definitely request for a 3 weeks break so as to prepare myself for school.

Oh yes! I've yet to share about my examination results. I was so elated that I passed with a gratifying grade! Though I was a little upset because I get a D7 for Maths, I was glad that at least I managed to get into a Polytechnic. I managed to enroll in Psychology at Temasek Poly; which was my first choice. The cut-off point for that course was way too far from my points but I will try my best to excel in it. If there’s a will, there’s a way. Amin! So, apparently, all the hard work, studying during the wee hours and even spending my money on a couple of frappes at Starbucks was finally paid off. Unexpectedly, I missed studying like mad. I missed reading books after books just to polish my English Language. I missed researching on my F&N stuffs and I missed challenging myself to achieve one grade higher. Couldn’t imagine that somehow, I wanted to go back to 2011 and continue studying like as if my O levels are yet another year.

Education is very important in this era. Everybody is competing with one other over creativity and intelligence. Don’t ever think that studying is a waste of time. The truth is, learning new things and achieving goals are one of the most victorious things you can ever feel. Of course, you may say that in secondary school, you’re learning things that you don’t like. But think about your future. If you can’t even get through this secondary school chapter, then how can you achieve your dream to learn what you like in ITE or Poly? As long as you have the opportunity to gain knowledge, grab it. Don’t lose that chance. Because when you lose it, you’ll regret it and you just waste a period of your time idling on other things. An early wish to all those taking their major exams this year! :D

2012-01-03T10:29:00.000-08:00

This is just going to be a short post because it's getting late and I should head to bed. I have work later on at 10am, argh I hate morning shift. By the way, I miss blogging, sincerely. But there were just too many things that happened lately. Fortunately the bad and good mood balances each other. For sure I would love to share but I just couldn't find the right words to express myself. I don't even know where to start. I'm not ready to tell those stories yet because you may be surprise. Okay, no not really a surprise but I've never thought all these events would happen to me. Thus, I was dumbfounded by all that I've went through for the past (approximately) 2 weeks. Sigh.... Just in 2 weeks, there were so many things happened. & it's a life-changing event. Still can't believe I ended my 2011 and started my 2012 in this way. This is life, gotta appreciate and make the best out of it. Goodnight fellow readers :)

2011-12-21T11:33:00.000-08:00

Dear Internet connection, it seems that you still don't want to cooperate with me. I've been putting up with your atrocious attitude for the last 3 days and you still refuse to behave. Now that you're being such an irksome friend, I seriously wish to give up on you but I can't because I love you dearly. I hope you don't give me excuses saying that it's because of the weather or mother nature. So please, I'm beseeching, I hope you will satisfy me by being faster and allow me to get access in any website. Thank you:)

2011-12-20T11:44:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, I would like to wish farewell to my cat whose name is Jebat. Jebat has been with the family for 2 years plus and when we took him as our pet, he was still young. Not a kitten, but not yet a virile cat. I still remember the very first time I saw him loitering at the void deck of my old block. He was a jovial, energetic and pampered cat. When we first had him in the house, all of us enjoyed his existence and the fact that he is an active cat made us felt entertained all the time. Besides that, he is an absolutely special cat. Believe it or not, he listens and remembers demands or reminders. For example, on the first day we brought him in, my mum told him not to pee randomly and only do it in the toilet. At that time, we didn’t have a proper toilet specifically for cats. So, worse comes to worse, Jebat had to share the family’s toilet for the moment. Surprisingly, just by one reminder, he adheres to it and only did his business in the toilet. Also, whenever we talked to him, he will definitely reply back to us with a “meow”. You know, it feels like as if he’s communicating with us.

As he grew older, he became more of a lazy cat and he always got lethargic easily. We always thought that it might be because he had grown so fat and yeah, just lazy. But we guessed it wrongly. He has lung disease. The symptoms only got worse when one night I realized his fur is spiking up and that shows he is sick. As night approached, he started gagging and coughing violently. It seemed that he was suffering from asthma because he had difficulties in breathing. He needed to breathe in very hard till we could even hear his breathing from our own rooms. His saliva also kept oozing out from his mouth incessantly. It was really terrible and heart-raking to see him in agony. We brought him to the clinic and doctor figured that he met an accident or has lung infections. But the doctor just gave him two jabs and some medicine to eat at home.

He didn’t show any improvements after 3 days. On 18 December 2011, I felt uneasy because suddenly Jebat started calling for us and wanting us to accompany him. He “communicate” with us for quite long. Around 3.10a.m, I still couldn’t sleep because I just felt like something is going to happen and yes indeed, Jebat started gagging again. He was in the toilet and staggered towards the door when he suddenly collapsed. Blood started coming out from his mouth. I panicked and rushed to wake my mum. Jebat’s breathing got slower and mum rushed to call for dad. While waiting, I accompanied Jebat and at that moment, I felt so hopeless as I could do nothing to help. Suddenly, his breathing stopped but 2 seconds later he jerked. It happened thrice until my dad came. My dad stroked his body twice and suddenly he went stiffed. That was when he passed away, in my Dad’s arms. Well, he had always preferred my Dad than any of us. It was a grief. Until today, I’m still devastated about the loss of my cat. He had such a short lifetime. I’m going to miss you so much Jebat :’) All the things that we’ve done together will be cherished by my family; your family. We all love you. Hope to see you in the afterlife. And I'm sorry if I didn't treat you well enough. Whatever the case may be, I still love you<3

I know this post is rather extensive but I just can't help it but to spit every single detail of his 5-days-of-intense-pain. You know, when someone means the world to you and you lost him and he is not going to come back, you just feel like your world has turned upside down and nothing goes right. You tried to cheer yourself up but you soon got tired of pretending. In the end, you realised that being alone for a few days and try to calm yourself down, take your time to think about the future, is the best solution for a beginning. Well, I guess I'll end here. Oh, before I go, you guys might think I'm loco because I talked to animals. But seriously, that was what I love to do most.

2011-12-16T10:30:00.000-08:00

Screw whatever happened on Sunday. Screw whatever happened on Monday. Urgh, screw this whole week! I've been having a hard time to sleep these days because of the recent incidents that occurred. It caused me to become so restless and delirious. I was having a great day at town on Sunday when suddenly Mum snapped it off as soon as I got home. It got worse the next morning and whatever she said tore me apart. Unexpectedly, I literally cried at the bus stop when I was on my way to work and of course, it was awful to start a day like that. In the end, I got better, with the help from nobody, and I gave it a thought to whatever my mum said and eventually it makes sense. However, it still bothers me.... Urgh ok it's so hard to post about this matter without telling the actual thing that happened. I would like to keep it this way because firstly, I don't wish to think about it anymore. And secondly, I don't want other people to know. Yeah, sometimes whatever happens at home, stays at home. Due to this, I was woebegone lately. I can't even get my mind to think straight. This explains my poor conduct at work this week. I'm so disappointed at myself. I need to go now :/ Sayonara.

2011-12-05T11:10:00.000-08:00

Time check; 2.15 in the morning. Honestly, my eyes are already bloodshot and I've been yawning innumerable times. However, I have the impulse to post something here as well as going online. So that is what keep me awake. The fact that my blog seems pretty much dead annoys me. I don't know if people find it dull or drably uninteresting, but I do and I care. Unfortunately, I've no idea how to improvise it. Sometimes, whenever I go bloghopping, I envy those bloggers who professionally know how to interact with their readers and their stories just flow wonderfully. It amazes me and I wished to be like them. But I just don't have what it takes. Well it doesn't matter as long as I have a place to spit everything out :) However, currently I don't have any awesome stories to share, nor do I have any emotionally depressing stories. So, I'll post any random shit that comes into mind. Okay?

By the way, did I mentioned that I have a Twitter account? Okay, I know this is so not important but merely updating that I reactivated my 2 years old Twitter account. Since Twitter is the bomb now I decided to try out and see what's so wow about it and now I'm stuck to it. Lol. Yeah, it can get addictive; stalking, give shout outs and whine about your life. Whatever. But of course, facebook is still better. Well alright, I wanna hit the sack now. Yup, even though I'm not sleepy already but it's unhealthy to stay up so late. Bonne nuit! :)

2011-12-02T09:48:00.000-08:00

Intense eating session with Khabir lasted approximately 2 hours. It was a birthday treat from me to him as Khabir recently turned 17. Surprisingly, this is the first time, after our 4 years of friendship, that I gave him a birthday treat. Initially, instead of treating him food, I considered of buying him a present which he can keep. However, my mind can be very fickle when it comes to choosing gifts. Thus, I decided to have a Chocolate Fondue with him at my Haagen-Dazs. When I first taste the Fondue, I contemplated why there were so many people wanting to order it. To be frank, it doesn’t taste as marvelous as I thought it would be. It was fulfilling though till the fact that I couldn’t bring myself to stand up. But ultimately, I enjoyed it especially those bananas and Rich Hot Chocolate. Yummy Yummm ♥ we moved on to Pastamania and had a quick dinner before heading home to get a good rest. Hmm, since my blog looks pretty dowdy, I think I’ll upload some pictures of today.

Happy Belated Birthday, Abdul Khabir! ♥♥ Please don't forget me and do keep in touch. We live so near, just have to cross over a parking lot and we can already get to each other's house. Therefore, there shouldn't be any reason why we couldn't meet and catch up for a short moment. You've been one kind of a friend that I'll treasure till the end. Even though many people might notice your flaws, I still think that you're a friend that is worth to keep. Thanks for being there for me all this while and cheering me up whenever I'm down;) Looking forward to see you again! :D

2011-11-25T18:49:00.000-08:00

Life has been hectic due to the pressure of workload I had to endure. I started working approximately 3 weeks ago and I cannot take it anymore :( I should have started much later. Too bad, I was in desperate need of money so I chose to start work earlier and now I'm regretting that decision. Well, life has to go on. At least I enjoyed my time there as my colleagues are amiable and kind enough to help me out. Ehem, I'm not going to reveal my workplace. To be frank, I don't wish to bump into any one I know while working. But hello, who am I kidding? I worked in a shopping mall where most of my friends and cousins love to go. Thus, meeting them each and every time I work is inevitable. To make it feel more embarrassing, they actually shout out my name and gave me that funny look in their eyes, with a smile that practically tear their mouth open. At that point of time, they sure made me want to vanish into thin air!

As a matter of fact I'm busy working, I missed out all my favourite TV shows and of course I missed attending outings with friends and family. I have to start making my own schedule so that I can balance my time equally. Yeah, hopefully ;) Okay, I gotta rush now because I'm off to JB. My mum has already called me for the umpteenth time. So seriously, I should go now. Adios! :D

2011-11-04T20:30:00.000-07:00

The day that I’ve been waiting for eagerly; my exams are over! Woohoo! Well, it is not official yet because I have another 1 hour paper to go and it’s just MCQ. So, there’s nothing much to worry about. Furthermore, it is 10 days away. Just let me pretend that my exams had ended. I feel so relieved now that I have nothing to study. And for certain, I will have my sleep polished. Most importantly, I am liberated by the pressure of academic! Now I can only pray extremely hard so that God will let me pass all my subjects with gratifying grades.

For the past few weeks, I was enjoying myself with job hunting, places hunting, food hunting and getting scared because I went to an eerie place with Leena. We caught a figure of a ghost in one of our pictures when we snap some photographs there, the time was almost midnight. Obviously, I quickly deleted it away as soon as I saw it. Second worst thing was that we were stalked by two Indian men. We both get scared and rushed home immediately. Nevertheless, we experienced some unusual things when we head back to my house. She was so afraid that she didn’t dare to go home alone. So, she slept over at my crib.

Overall, I had a thrilling week! I pushed away my books and spent more time with friends and family because I simply can’t study anymore. So yeah, I don’t know if I did my best for my exams or not, especially because I didn’t put in 101% effort. Hmm, let bygones be bygones.

2011-10-18T23:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Facebook, Blogger and Tumblr,

I would like to start mugging on all of my subjects so as to prepare myself for the major examinations. Therefore, I sincerely hope that all of you would not call upon me to check on you. This is because whenever I do that, it disrupts the process of mugging and I’ll definitely lose all the concentration required. I assure you that I will not be on hiatus for long. Most probably it will just be a maximum of one month or perhaps less than that. I’m sorry that I have to keep an arm’s length between us because you simply make me to become indolent. Do wish me all the best for my ‘O’ levels. I promise you that I will bring back exciting stories as soon as I’m done with the examinations. There will be no more stories about me being emotionally depressed or pressurized. Well, I hope so. See you soon! ;)

Xoxo,

Qeen Asyiqin

2011-10-07T02:41:00.000-07:00

My impaired brain seems to be the problem here. Perhaps it’s my forlorn heart that practically shattered into a million pieces. I seriously need a break from this enigmatic period where each adolescent experiences. Although I’ve taken two weeks off, it is not enough. Nothing is ever enough for me. However, this cannot go on perpetually. I left with barely two weeks to my major examinations and I had not done any intensive revisions. I need someone to convulse me violently and dart me into the stressful world I refused to be in. My once vibrant, joyous and bubbly life switched to become subdued and drab. Maybe it is the pressure that evokes my body and mind to become so listless.

Do you know how afraid I am to be sitting for ‘O’ levels? My confidence slowly vanishes despite the fact that I did well for my Prelim 2. I should be more motivated by the incredulous improvements I’d made. Unfortunately, I am not. I speculated that it had been merely luck (with a little bit of effort) that I passed my exams. I’ve been skipping classes lately because I doubt it will benefit me if I attended it. This lackadaisical attitude won’t bring me to anywhere. Apparently, I know that but why am I still not making any attempt to change my mundane life?

Sorry because my blog seems woebegone lately with all the anguishing, worrisome post I kept publishing. This is the only site I could vomit everything out without feeling troubled. I wonder why some people ditched Blogger. Well, whatever, everyone has their own preferences. I hope things would be fine very soon. When time gets hard, just P.U.S.H – Pray Until Something Happens. Yeah right, but I can’t depend solely on miracles, y'know.

2011-09-28T11:02:00.000-07:00

The previous post was left hanging with no sweet conclusion. It was because my eyes felt as heavy as lead and I just need to quickly get into my deep slumber. Furthermore, I was out of words and I seriously don’t know how to express my thoughts and feelings. So, I guess it is better for me not to talk about it and over-think as it may ruin my about-to-blow mind. I coveted for a relaxing massage right now. I’m having body ache entirely. Blame it on the 2.4km run I did during the evening, under the scorching hot sun. My skin tone practically turned darker. Well, at least I hit the passing mark. Should thank Hakim for the encouragement! Unfortunately, I am having muscle cramps which I can barely stand the pain whenever I walk. Besides that, I had blisters on both left and right toes due to the tight shoe that I wore for running. That’s so oaf of me.

Well, happy birthday to my, hmmm, friend. I didn’t wish him personally; via Facebook nor when I met him at school. I don’t have the guts to face him, what more talk to him. I have this uncertain feeling that he finds me irksome ever since he got to know that….ugh scrap it. It had been a week or two since we last talk. He’s the one who’s ignoring me because I tried to make a conversation with him but he acted like I’m invisible. Whenever we’re with the group, he talked to everyone else except me. So, I guess that is enough for me to know that we’re back to becoming strangers.

2011-09-27T10:48:00.000-07:00

Accompanied by the howling winds and swirling rains, I am still feeling fresh despite the fact that it is almost 1.30a.m. I'm enjoying the night alone with my laptop and scrolling pages after pages on Tumblr. I can't sleep, maybe because I'm thinking too much. I hate this feeling; everything don't feel right even though it is. Do you even understand what I am trying to say? Ugh, see, I can't even articulate anything out of what I am feeling right now. I made tremendous improvements in most of my subjects but yet I don't feel thrilled about it. I would usually shriek, jump, wave my hands in the air and go bonkers momentarily if I achieved such results. However, today when I received my results, I didn't jump joyfully and my eyes didn't gleamed with delight. I was acting nonchalantly all along. What happened? I don't really know.

As I grow older, I realised that there are lesser people whom I can trust. In the end, the only reliable person is yourself (or maybe your family too). Friends come and go. They never really stay. Don't ever expect people to stick with you forever as soon as they walk in your life because they'll definitely walk out.

2011-09-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

Unraveling the past, those unforgivable mistakes and upsetting regrets tell me that I am still enmeshing in the past. It seems that I can’t bring myself to forget about those painful memories when I was younger, immature and indecisive. I shouldn’t have been so stupid to choose the path which led me to regret endlessly. Well, I guess this is fate and I have no one to blame except myself for not thinking twice before taking a step to let my emotions overwhelm me.

I wished I could leave the past behind and really start afresh. However, isn’t that what history is for? We have our own histories to remind us not to do the same mistake. Sadly, I felt beleaguered whenever I think about it and I felt insecure. I am not able to ensconce myself where I could feel placid. I kept thinking what people would have talked about me, about the ‘previous Qeen’. If I feel disgusted about my own self, what more would other people feel?

I know that I shouldn’t bother about what heck people would say about me. Most people would say that they don’t give a shit if others are derisively talking about them. However, I am not like that. I wouldn’t want to hear people bad-mouthing about me because apparently, it sucks. Thank god, I had not experience such mock before. I wish it won’t ever happen. But hmm yeah, I can’t escape from what life is about to give.

Maybe I am thinking too much till it distresses me :[ Anyway, I hope Mumtaz won’t distant away herself from me after knowing who I am. I regard her as my best friend. So, she ought to know almost everything about me. It may be hard for you to swallow the stupid details I told you. I didn’t expect to tell you about it either. I am glad you said that you still love me J

2011-09-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

A sudden flashback flooded my mind as I looked through photos that were taken a few years back. Immediately, I had a sudden impulse to look for more things which I could do as recollections. I was dumbfounded to find all the things which had never crossed my mind that it would still be lying around somewhere in my room. Only that I didn’t give two hoots about it. I just left it stranded at the back of every cupboard, a place where apparently I don’t even bother to give a glance.

I was painstakingly cleaning my room on Hari Raya Eve. I took 3 hour 30 minutes to make it look perfectly neat inside out. I was stupefied to find little items which I use to regard it as somewhat special. Yes, special. That was the reason why I shoved it at the back of the cupboard and didn’t throw it away. Anyway, here is the list of things I found.

A card and box (which still smells nice) given by Zhorfan for my 16^th birthday.
Two identical photographs of me and Ammar taken during SYF Indoor Band Competition.
Mark’s jacket.
Handicrafts (my name and a cute purple-butterfly-heart-shape) carved out by Ammar.
A birthday card given by my sister and Shazlina for my 11^th birthday.
A beautifully handmade birthday card given by Mumtaz for my 16^th birthday.
A necklace given by Khabir.

You may think that those items are ordinary. However, it is special to me because each item holds some nostalgic moments between me and the giver. There are some sentimental values that I cherish and I would love to keep those items to reminisce the times I had with them. After looking through all the photos, my mind was replete with memories with those people. Do you know how much I miss spending time with them? Somehow, we’re separated (except for my friendship with Mumtaz). Our friendship bonds loosen and everything is not the same anymore. I learned to move on and pick myself up without them.

There is always a reason to why some people don’t make it to your future. Sometimes we need to let other things fall to allow good things to come in. Friends come and go. People whom you expect them to be there when you needed them the most will turn their back on you. Someone whom you think is amiable and kind-hearted incredulously turned out to be a hypocrite. However, always look at the brighter side. There is always a reason why we face unpleasant situations. So be strong and have a little faith to go through all the obstacles in your life.

Well, it seems that this post is stretching a little bit too long. Actually, I typed this halfway on Hari Raya but since I was running out of time to complete it, I decided to continue and publish it another day. Sorry for bragging about my past. Alright, till next time!

2011-08-19T02:52:00.000-07:00

The past 6 days were rather hectic. I kept myself occupied and managed to avoid wasting my precious time surfing the net. Honestly, I think that the internet is a killer that causes me to lose concentration in my studies. Therefore, I feel proud that I am distancing away from the laptop. However, at the same time, I felt that I am losing out in the cyber world. I felt outdated whenever my friends talked about events that happened on Facebook, YouTube and Tumblr because I don’t have any interesting details to add on to the conversation. However, for the sake of getting gratifying grades, I assume that this is the right choice.

Anyway, it felt that I had done so many things but actually I did nothing much. I spent my Saturday at JB with Leena and her mother as well as her mother’s friends. It was a splendid time with them! I was really exhilarated by the whole trip and I’m still unsure why, especially because we did nothing much. Perhaps it was the fact that I miss spending time with Leena due to the pressure of ‘O’ levels. We went to break fast at Sangkar Kristal, a 99 spread buffet. A million thanks to Leena’s mother for treating me ;)

As for Monday, I had my EL Oral Examination for ‘O’. I hated the fact that I was the last candidate for the day because I was afraid I might bore the examiners. True enough, I think my performance for oral was mundane because of the dreary stares given by one of them. The topic was relatively easy but I didn’t elaborate much on it because I just want to quickly get done and over with. All in all, I think I’d done moderately well even though the fury look on the examiner’s face sent chills to my bones.

Yesterday was one of the best days in my life because of the satisfying accomplishment for my Malay ‘O’ levels. Alhamdulillah (: I kept muttering words of prayers before and after receiving my results. Initially, before commencing the result, I was living in trepidation. I tried to fight down fresh feelings of panic but to no avail. It was only after the release of my result that I managed to dispel the feeling of anxiety. My eyes beamed with jubilant. Euphoric feelings coarse through my veins and finally I realized that this is what I want to feel when I receive my overall result for ‘O’ levels! I will work hard for it, InsyaAllah success will come chasing after me (:

To the rest of my friends who were let down by the results, please do not give up! If you think that you should have done better, go and give another try. You may improve one grade up. If there’s a will, there’s a way. Have a little faith and do your best for the next attempt!

2011-08-06T21:45:00.000-07:00

A week of fasting was a success! Surprisingly, I managed to avoid the acute temptation for delicacies during the time from crack of dawn to dusk. Of course, I am proud of this accomplishment. However, I should not be resting on my laurels yet. There is still 3 weeks to go. My goal for this year’s month of Ramadhan is to clear it full. After years of not taking my fasting month intensively, I am finally determined to fast for the whole month this year. I have faith that I can. At the same time, I have to ensure that I fast correctly and sincerely or else everything that I’d done in the month of Ramadhan is futile.

Due to Ramadhan, I had not been having a healthy diet. My meals are irregular and usually I don’t take heavy meals for my dinner. Therefore, I am starting to become incredibly gaunt. I can see my ribcage protrude out from my chest! Okay, it might not sound like it’s a big deal to you but it is to me because I’ve not experience this level of body-thin before. Well, not until today. To lose weight in the month of Ramadhan is inevitable but to lose weight severely does not show a good sign. I don’t know what other measures I should take in order to gain extra weight and to satisfy my mother about it. Maybe I should start taking pills or something (that’s not a good idea).

Well, at least I am still going strong and healthy. I don’t feel frail but I do feel tired all the time. My worried mother told me that I may be suffering from anaemia -.- It may be true but the possibility is low, okay?! She’s scaring me with her wild thoughts. Hmm, whatever it is, as long as I am still feeling fine and all okay, I don’t think I should worry about my health. Haha. This is not a good concluding statement :P But seriously, I can’t be bothered about my health. Well, not for now.

2011-08-04T05:02:00.000-07:00

Dear ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Fundamentally, dear my beloved readers (if there’s any). I would like to proudly announce that I am officially done with my F&N Coursework Task 2A and 2B. As a token of enthusiasm, I would like to present myself with a superior feeling of achievement. Since I am penniless, I could not buy myself anything, not even a chocolate bar, to reward myself after months of painstaking nights and nerve-racking evenings spent facing the computer.

I can still remember vividly the times I had while doing my coursework. The time that Mumtaz had a breakdown because she was too stress with it and decided to drop F&N as her subject. The sleepless night I had gulping down cups of coffee just to keep myself awake. Not to forget all the long Saturdays I sacrificed in the school computer lab just to complete it. Moreover, all because of the coursework, I neglected my other relevant subjects. I felt troubled each time doing my coursework, in fear that I may not be able to finish it on time. I’m afraid by that old hag nagging at me with all the wrongdoings of my coursework. Nevertheless, I persevered and take up the entire burden this dumb coursework gave me.

However, although it had been giving me a magnificently hard time and immense pressure, I gained some learning experience along the way too. Surprisingly, I learnt the importance of handing up my work on the dot. I used to procrastinate in everything that I do, especially in my school work. However, due to F&N coursework, I realized that if I hand up early, my teacher would definitely check my work and she would tell me to do some amendments to it. From there, I learnt my mistake and my coursework had been improved. This can also be applied to my other subjects.

Furthermore, my coursework-experience had proved to me that my school’s motto is true. Only by persevering can it yield success. In life, there is no short cut to get what you want. For example, if you’re a wealthy man but dim-witted, there is no other way for you to be clever over a night unless if you keep on trying. You need to persevere, put all the hard work in it and of course, believe that you can do it! Success will come chasing you if you put in effort.

Despite the fact that the old hag had been reprimanding, nagging and seem to be suffering from dementia, she had been helping me a lot to enhance my coursework. All thanks to her :) at the same time, all thanks to her for wasting my precious holidays. Eventually, it really paid off. Now, I don’t have to waste my time rushing to do coursework anymore because I AM DONE WITH IT!

2011-08-03T09:15:00.000-07:00

Harapku tidak terlupa diri bila gembira, dan mula mencari kau disaat hiba

Ku cuma manusia yang penuh kesilapan tapi bisa membezakan cahaya dan kegelapan

Ku mengerti, siapaku tanpamu disisi dan apa gunanya posesi dan posisi

Sementara ini hanya puisi, nukilan tulisan dan bisikan isi hati

Mencari ketenangan, menjiwai peranan menepati pesanan janji juga saranan

Alhamdulillah atas kurniaan rezeki, moga tidak terleka dalam perjalanan ini.

I feel like crying my heart out. Tell me which is better; stress yourself and get good results or relax yourself and just do your best, but you won't achieve good results. Which is better? Ya Allah. I shouldn't be disobeying you just because of my studies :(

2011-08-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

I felt beleaguered for the past few hours. It is not because of the fasting month but simply because I cannot bring myself to study. I've no mood at all. I don't even have the appetite to eat. Obviously, I am scared for Geog Prelim tomorrow but honestly, I made extra effort to study but I only managed to survive 30 minutes, at most. I hibernated for a total of 5 hours but yet I still feel so tired. In fact, I don't feel like doing anything at all. I've been lying on my bed, listening to music and surf the net for god-knows-how-long. I should have went for Terawih prayers instead of doing nothing, seriously. What am I waiting for sia? Waiting to get an F9 again uh?! Aiyo Qeen!

I cannot assume that I am officially done with my F&N Coursework. I'm afraid that my teacher would call me up again for editing -.- She scares me till I had a nightmare about her! She abused one of my friend, which is also an F&N student. Yes, she abused my friend so bad and she even attempted to strangle me! But obviously I tried to defend myself and hit her so hard at the neck and she was unconscious :/ I was that petrified by her. I should get at least a B3 for F&N because I worked hard for the coursework! And I'm quite confident that I can do well for the theory as well. Alright, seriously I need to get my eyes/head/brain on my books.

2011-07-29T03:56:00.000-07:00

My heart sank when I realized that I only had 30 more minutes to write out my essay. Worst of all, I had no freaking idea what to write about and I decided to steal an idea from a book. I did not even change the characters' name because I can't be bothered to think of one. To make things much worse, the book is well-known and the Secondary 3 students had it for silent reading for about a month. So, definitely the teacher that'll mark my script will know that my idea was not authentic. I was too disenchanted on my performance for the English Prelims, I beckon I won't be able to achieve a B3 :( It discourages me to do my Maths and Social Studies paper just now. So, I think I did equally/more than bad for both papers. Fml. Everything will end in tears when I get my results. Just be prepare to fail eh.

As usual, I am taking my own sweet time typing this out and scrolling in the deep through Tumblr. Honestly, I am too lazy to go night study but I think it will benefit me in one way or another because my friends will be there to clear some of my doubts. I've not eaten. I feel like ordering pizza later and consume it at school :D Alright, seriously I'm taking up too much time. Oh, I won't be able to post something everyday because there had been an Internet connection error these few days. It is frustrating to get a stable Internet connection. And a waste of time too. It would be better for me to revise my other subjects. So yeah. Till next time :)

2011-07-26T03:46:00.000-07:00

The placidity of my room causes me to force myself and study apart from it. I am supposed to wash up and get ready to meet my friends at 7p.m for some revision. However, due to the serene condition that I am in now, I couldn't bring myself to take the initiative to shower so that I can be on time. It's okay, being late for 30 minutes should be fine. Anyway, starting from today, I will try to make a habit to post something each day. Hoping that by doing this it will at least help me improve my English language little by little. I know this method is a little absurd but I am trying every little way I could to get a better grade. I was having a mental distress for about two days because of the poor oral results): So, I have to clear the rest of my English papers with satisfaction.

Prelims in two days time! I have to built up the confidence and throw away my lazy attitude. I've been idling away since the past few days and I'm becoming more senile. Okay, kidding. It ever crossed my mind to relinquish on my goal. But you know, some things you just have to do it no matter how irksome life goes on you. Life has to go on... I have to be brave and strong like Harry Potter. Have a little faith in myself and believe that I can do well for my examinations. All that matters most to me right now is having good grades. It makes me feel ecstatic. Really. Okay, I sound like a nerd now. I just don't want to lose out in the race. Till here, and I left with 15 minutes-.-

2011-07-20T01:05:00.000-07:00

Once again, I am stuck in the middle of the night doing my F&N Coursework conclusion. I gotta be kidding myself. I spent almost 6 hours previously to complete it but my teacher was unhappy with my work and demanded me to do it all over again. So, here I am, struggling. My prelims are just around the corner, the countdown for 'O' levels had already been put up at my school's parade square. It scares me because everyday I'll be seeing the numbers decreasing and simply means that I don't have much time left. However, a true confession, I have not been studying. I don't know why but I just feel lethargic every single time. I tried to wake up in the morning to study. But you know what happened? I just switch off my alarm clock as soon as it rings. The funny thing was that when I woke up, I cannot even remember switching it off. And I only have myself to blame. Waking up is painful, tormenting, torturing, okay?

Yesterday was Listening Comprehension for Malay 'O' levels. Seriously, thanks to the song Rolling In The Deep that was aired before the starting of the exam. It really woke me up. Trembling for results :/ Well, till here. I should be focusing on my work. But I am so hungry. A hungry man is an angry man. Yes, I am angry now because I can't seem to get this coursework done and my pepsin needs some proteins to digest! Grrr.

2011-07-16T01:41:00.000-07:00

The last of Harry Potter premiers last Thursday and up till today, all the tickets were fully booked. I assume that the tickets would definitely be sold out fast tomorrow, maybe even before the morning dew appears. So, I don't know when will be my chance to be able to watch it. Maybe two weeks later. Furthermore, my assignments are piling up and my days are fully sucked by remedial, intensive classes and anything else that is related to studies. Honestly, I have no more time to think about any other things. My senior said that this is my last 100m race. It is either I catch up and beat the rest or maintain being a loser. So, I need to make huge sacrifices so that I will be able to have more time to study and focus. But seriously, I want a happy and stress-free life. I can't just study twenty four seven, right? -.-

Anyway, I had my Malay Oral about two weeks ago. It was tremendously horrible! Too bad, there will be no second chances for oral exam. I thought that I could do well enough for it but unfortunately, the conversation was about something which I am not into it. That was why I couldn't give good answers to support my stand. I think I might need to retake my Malay exam at the end of the year because I don't think I will be satisfied with my results. Haish): Well, till here. I got nothing else to post about. So, yeah. Bye. I miss blogging, like so much. But what can I do? I just have to refrain myself from even touching my lappy. I tried before, and I managed to last for 5 days without lappy. Yay:)

2011-06-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

It was only the second day of school in Semester 2 but I already felt lethargic and wished that my holidays are prolonged. My new timetable is shitty but I don't think I should whine anymore as my examinations are approaching. More stress, more pressure, extreme depression ahead. I couldn't seem to find enough time to revise my subjects because there are tons of homework that need to be done. And this time, I am trying my best not to take my homework lightly. It should be done properly and on time! But really, changing my life habits is a tedious job.

I am having trouble balancing my time to study the different subjects. I don't know which one to study first because I don't know which is easier and which is more important. Time flies so fast and I simply can't get enough time to study. One topic of Biology will usually take me one hour. What about the other subjects (which I totally suck in it)? That will take double or triple more time! How I wish I was just born intelligent. I will then be a pure genius and I do not have to worry about getting awful, disgusting grades just because I did not study diligently.

Anyway, I should be asleep now. Obviously, I would not be active anymore because my time should be spent more on studying. My facebook is almost dead as well. Same goes to Tumblr :( Oh, I've officially completed my F&N Coursework Task 2A! I will do a post regarding about it soon, like as what I've promised. But I don't know when will that be because I might change my mind and combine both Task 2A and 2B in a single post. Alrights, I'm done. (: Assalamualaikum. And wish me goodluck for my Malay 'O' level oral this Thursday :P

2011-06-18T07:01:00.000-07:00

Although I have exciting and thrilling stories to share, I'm too lazy to type it out here. However, I can't bare to see my blog not being updated. Moreover, I would love to keep all the little things I'd done as memories. I know I will definitely forget about it as time passes by. So, my blog would help me to reminisce. Anyway, had a merry week! I totally enjoyed it but I felt guilty because I missed about a week or so of not studying :( Damn. What's happening to me?! Most of my friends had already started intensive revision but here I am, shaking legs and idling away. I must stop procrastinating, like seriously.

Two days ago, I was at Leena's house visiting and taking care of her because she was bedridden. She was severely injured at Pulau Ubin on 15 June because she fell on a steep, rocky slope while cycling. It happened when she was trying to avoid a family that was blocking her way but I think they were deaf. She was alone when she fell and there was no one to help. I was already at the front, with a few others, leaving the rest behind. Luckily Khabir and a few others were behind her. It's too long for me to describe what happened. So, if you want to know how she got her injuries, view Khabir's facebook profile. We made a video out of it :)

Afterall, it was a fun, thrilling and awesome outing! (: Okay, umm, I'm too lazy to write more already. So bye! Pictures are on facebook (:

2011-06-06T08:52:00.000-07:00

My nothing-much-but-I-love-it schedule for today:

♥ Woke up at 9a.m

♥ Laid in bed, daze for about an hour, thinking if I should go to school or not.

♥ Finally, I decided to go and at that moment I left only 30 minutes to leave for school.

♥ But I was in a lazy mode. So, I took my own sweet time.

♥ After school, had LJS and went to Santi's house afterwards.

♥ Spilled all my feelings and thoughts at her.

♥ Got to know something which I regret knowing (because it kills me silently inside).

♥ Watched Clash of The Titans.

♥ Thanks Santi'Baby for today ♥

Sometimes, we care too much about a person even though that person seems not to care about us at all. Even though that person dislikes us. Even though that person is actually, truthfully, annoyed with our existence. What is more surprising is that, the person whom you don't really care about, ended up being the one who is always listening and being there for you. I can't be mad at you forever and I should put an end to this emotional war that I am facing. But you know, I just can't resist it. Your image automatically forms in my mind like almost every time. When that happens, my heart sinks, right down to the bottom edge and it feels like it will take infinity for it to travel back to the top. My heart felt like it's been crushed, curdled, squeeze and there are disgusting wrinkles every where.

2011-06-05T05:38:00.000-07:00

Physically alive, emotionally dead.

I feel like spilling out whatever is in my head to a stranger who cares to listen.

2011-05-30T08:05:00.000-07:00

But then, NOW I DO. I care freaking much!

I seriously think that your words were really harsh towards me. Don't ever think I didn't made an effort to have patience. I did. However, with your annoying, bullshit attitude, I absolutely cannot put up with it! Hingga hilang kesabaran. I should have decided not to follow you guys today because that annoying A.Clancy was there. I should have hold on to my promise not to get near him because I know he would spoil me. I know that he is the biggest obstacle that prevents me to repent. He will annoy and irritate me like nobody business, like as if I'm a freaking ass toy which he can just yell and hit me whenever he like. Boi, kau pikir aku takde maruah? Best pe sepak-sepak muka aku dekat public... Maki aku tujuh tempayan.... Step matrep, nak threaten aku... Tolak-tolak aku.... Wah, semakin aku layan, semakin kau menjadi-jadi eh? What happen to you?! Jengkel sia hatiku dengan perangai kau sekarang. Luckily there is Fafa to console me. Thanks dude. (: You feel me, & I feel you too. I really think you made the right decision. Thanks again. Oh, thanks to Ibn who tried calming me. And to Era who uploaded the Pirates of The Canning Park photos, which I think I look cute in almost every picture. Haha. Much appreciated. (:

Dude, you just created another scene in my head. Aku pikir kalau keluar hari ini, tanpa dia, aku boleh relax. Tapi fuhlamak, tambah sakit hati lagi ada!

2011-05-30T00:38:00.000-07:00

Kawan-kawan aku nie tak update blog langsung ke? Pergi delete sudah korang punye blog -,- Internet nie dah semakin mendak. Since kawan aku dah tak update blog, there's nothing else I can be kepo about or curiously read their posts like I used to. Sekarang, kalau aku bukak laptop, masuk internet, facebook pergi facebook balik. Tumblr pergi Tumblr balik. Kalau tak pun aku gi Youtube atau update blog. Gini macam, aku belajar untuk menyiapkan diri untuk O levels lagi cantik! Anyway, saya ingin maklumkan bahawa saya telah menduduki kertas peperiksaan GCE 'O' level Bahasa Melayu! *clap clap* So, sekarang suka hati aku lah nak bertutur dalam whatever language I want :D Tapi sejak asyik berbual Melayu aje, aku terbawak-bawak hingga sekarang. Tsk. Kkay, me got to go. Assalammualaikum. (:

2011-05-27T07:46:00.000-07:00

Me: Ibu, tengok badan adik. Wee ~ Ader shape sey. Sexy!

Ibu: Eew. Eleh, aku tengok kau macam tengkorak bergerak lagi ade uh.

Fuh~ Punye lah sakit hati dengar mak aku cakap gitu :( I am not 100% skinny okay, mummy. Recently, my mother has been nagging continuously at me because she thinks that I am too skinny. I was expecting her to say slim, but she said skinny-,- There is a difference between those two words. So, obviously I was upset because it's not like as if I don't make any effort to grow fat. I do. However, my body size maintains the same. Ah, whatever, who cares anyway.

Mood for today : Please go to Youtube and look for Lazy Song by Bruno Mars.

My mum need to woke me up for only-god-knows-how-many times today in order for me to get ready for school. As soon as I shower and put on my uniform, I laid in bed because I thought it was still too early for me to get out of house. And of course, I was feeling dropdead tired. I dragged myself, lazily, to get my breakfast but I ended up sleeping at the table. Serioushit, ngantok giler. Hinggakan air liur meleleh :P I wanted to go school but I also want to fall into my deep slumber. So, my mother forced me to get some rest. Mother knows best :) I just listened to her and slept till late afternoon.

Yay, I'm watching Gentarasa tomorrow for TWO times. -_- Bodoh peh sekolah. Kalau nak beli ticket tu, tanye uh orang dulu. And another YAY, because I am meeting Johnny Depp on Monday! :D I miss you sia Johnny. Heheh. I hope there won't be last minute changes. And another yay + ohmygos because I am sitting for my Malay 'O' levels on Monday. :/ Wish me luck pls. Bye.

2011-05-23T08:54:00.000-07:00

Air mataku berlinangan dan membasahi pipi apabila aku menonton filem Aku Tak Bodoh. Walaupun terdapat unsur-unsur komedi, jalan cerita itu amat menyentuh jiwaku kerana ia menceritakan perkara yang sering terjadi di dunia yang penuh dengan manusia terlalu sibuk mengejar impian. Hinggakan terlupa untuk membahagiakan diri sendiri, terlupa untuk menjalankan tanggungjawab masing-masing. Aku mengesat air mata dengan hujung jari. Terasa malu apabila ahli keluargaku yang lain ternampak akan reaksiku. Ah, janganlah hiraukan. Bisik hati kecilku yang semakin kecut kerana malu akan kelakuanku itu. Lagipun, sudah lama aku tidak menitiskan air mata. Terasa lega pula apabila dapat meluahkan segalanya hanya melalui tangisan. Aku amat bersyukur kerana mempunyai ibubapa yang hidup secara sederhana. Harapan mereka untuk aku dan kakak mendapat markah yang bagus, tidaklah setinggi gunung. Walaupun kami gagal dalam peperiksaan, mereka tidak pernah memarahi atau meninggikan suara. Kata mereka, sekurang-kurangnya kami telah berusaha.

OKEY, HENTIKAN ITU SEMUA.

Memandangkan aku akan menduduki peperiksaan Malay GCE peringkat 'O' minggu hadapan, aku bercadang untuk melakukan penulisan di blog pada hari ini dengan berbahasa melayu. Aku ingin sekali mencapai Grad A1 untuk Bahasa Melayu. Tetapi aku tidak begitu yakin. Aku asyik sahaja dapat Grad A2, tidak lebih dari itu. Tetapi aku mesti mendapat Grad A1 kerana kakakku juga dapat memperoleh grad setinggi itu. Aku harus ada keyakinan diri. Mudah-mudahan dengan usaha gigih dan doa ibuku aku dapat membuat peperiksaan itu dengan tenang (: Baiklah, mataku sudah kuyu. Wa nak tido. Haha, give up siah asyik berbahasa melayu aje. Haiya. Goodnightt!

2011-05-18T08:19:00.000-07:00

Thank you Allah for giving my friends and I a warning before the train came. Thank you so much for saving our lives. The woman that warn us was like an angel sent by you to protect us. Seriously, I thank Allah for saving us. Alhamdulillah, I am still alive. (: I vow not to go to that place ever again. Furthermore, the surrounding was eerie. When I walked past it, just by the soft breeze chilled me to my bones and suddenly I had goosebumps. There was an old, broken house too. The debris of broken stools/doors/table/pipes and pieces of shattered glasses, made the house look like it's already occupied with unseen things. Hmm, if you ever went to Old Changi Hospital, well, it looked exactly like that.

I illustrate so much but I did not state where I went -,- Anyway, I went to a railway track for photoshoot. A bloody old railway track! Just by the pictures, I'm sure you get the rough description how it looked like. (Please view my facebook for more pics.) I went there with Bruno Mars (Leena) and Charlie Chaplin (Atika). Initially we felt scared, except for Leena, because we were afraid to get hit by a train. However, after about 20 minutes, we managed to calm our palpitating heart. So, the activity began and we chill at that place for nearly 2 hours before making a move because there was a lady who came to say that there will be a train that is coming in another 10 minutes. Since she said 10 minutes, we took our time to pack. However, after 2 minutes, suddenly, the sound of train was so clear and right infront of our eyes the train darted towards us! Macam fast and furious, lincah giler! We were extremely near to death. I can still remember vividly about the whole incident and the sound of the train had already stuck in my head.

Enough about the almost-hit-by-a-train incident. We headed to City Hall to have our super late brunch/early dinner at Pizza Hut. They had a new menu, with new and more food choices. I tasted mussel for the first time! :D Sadly, my tummy hates it. As soon as I ate one, I got tummy ache. After eating, we sat at the Marina Stairs. It's my first time sitting there because I used to thought that place was specially for mat-minah reps. Went home earlier than usual. And I had trouble sleeping because that bloody train incident kept playing in my head like a soundtrack! Finally, I decided to sleep with my parents. It worked, I felt safer in the end. (:

2011-05-16T09:06:00.000-07:00

If I am Mr. Bean, I would already fall asleep in front of my laptop while typing this out. At any time, I can fall into my deep slumber, giving up to do a post for today. But let's make it a challenge, to see if I even bother to continue what I want to do or just procrastinate. So yeah, we'll see how far I manage to keep my eyes wide and my brain to function properly. If my post seems to hang, simply means I failed to withstand the extreme pressure of lethargy that I am experiencing right now. Also, mind my language and grammar.

I shouldn't have attended school today! zZzZz... I should have continued my long coma-like sleep instead of waking up and rush to school. I had a career talk today and only the graduating classes were supposed to go. We were encouraged to use Smart wear but since most of my friends weren't wearing, I also decided not to wear. I don't want to be the odd one >.< Majority of the express students did not bother to dress up. However, that particular boy looks very cute! Omg, he was the first guy I saw as soon as I went to line up at my class. Melt sampai liquid siaa aku. Mumtaz knows :p We received our English papers and I was so glad that I pass every single thing for English! Feewiittt, cheer for myself :D I was filled with euphoric feelings when I receive my results! Alhamdulillah (: However, I shouldn't be too complacent. There are still 5 other subjects that I had not received and I am most worried about my Malay :( I will be mentally and emotionally disturbed if I get a C5 for Malay, I swear.

Anyway, I had a wonderful time with my babes at my crib this evening! We ended up playing dress-up game (without make-up) and they left about 10.30p.m. That is the reason why I am feeling so fatigue now. ALRIGHT! Yay(: I've complete my challenge because this post is too long already and my fairtytale bed is calling me. Nytes, Assalamualaikum (:

2011-05-15T06:14:00.000-07:00

Credits to Tumblr for the picture above. True enough, I am extremely bored, to the core core core core. Extremely right at the core! However, unlike the caption stated, I finally did house chores because I've got nothing better to do. I should have spent my time studying but my hand refuse to even flip a textbook. Not even touch it. I am feeling slightly better, that is the reason why I choose to surf the net and unexpectedly, I found nothing interesting at all -,- Well, I went offline (in fact I am always offline) and leave the message at the tone because I swear I am damn lazy to chat with people. I am not being anti-social, just that I am not in the mood to talk to anyone except for my Mum. Haha. Yes, and everyday I am not in the mood to chat because most people just annoy me. Well, does that made me anti-social already? o.O Ah, whatever. As long as I'm happy, I'll continue to do what I'm doing. Hehehe.

Since I was super bored, I read my previous posts starting from January onwards. I realised that I've been mentally okay so far. Based on what I typed, on what I blab about, I think this year is way much better than last year. Last year, there were so many heartbreaking events that I just couldn't take it as it kills me softly inside. However this year, I am just pressured with studies which didn't really show the negative effects. So, I guess I should be enjoying what I am doing. Haha. What the f. am I spouting? -,- Anyway, the past few weeks I've been wondering how long have I been single. To Santi, I am very sure that I started being single before Valentine's Day! Because of the 'Whip My Hair' video. But yeah, I just couldn't seem to remember what was the actual date. I am going to be so proud of myself if I manage to clear the rest of the months in 2011 riding solo :D

Suara aku sekarang dah macam jantan sia :0 Alright, I am too busy updating my private blog. So.... Assalamualaikum.

2011-05-15T01:49:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum! Kalau tak jawab dosa, kalau jawab sayang (:

As you can see, I changed my skin. That explains why I made my blog private for a day. However, I don't really like it. It seems to be quite plain. Moreover, I lost my skills already. That explains why there are no songs because I don't know how to hide my songs in the background -,- So yeah, I might change again. I am not going to do a proper post because I ain't feeling well ): I've been sick since Friday. I was bedridden the whole of Saturday. Fortunately I am feeling better today but still, the cough and blocked nose just can't seem to get better. Okay, I got to go and have some rest. Chalobeteh :]

2011-05-09T06:43:00.000-07:00

Happy Belated Mother's Day, Ibu(: My love for you is infinity! We = forever together. Only death do us apart. No one can replace you ♥

Pastamania for brunch, Burger King for Intensive Maths Session and KOI for tea break. Yes, like finally I tasted KOI. Oh. My. Gos. I couldn't help myself but to ask for more from Haslinda because her drink was the nicest whereas mine was average. Now I am suffering from sore throat. So today, I went to study with Joshua&Ben, the triplets, and Haslinda. We took about 2 hours to clear our doubts about Maths and solve 3 Properties of Circles questions. We didn't do much but at least the session was quite productive. Anyway, my nose is being such a nuisance for the past few days. It has been blocked. Due to that, I am having difficulties in breathing. Whenever I breathe in through my nose, it will produce a squeak, like a freaking pathetic mouse. Sometimes I will sound like a bull or a donkey -.- In order for me to stop that, I have to breathe in through my mouth and it bothers me a lot!! Because I look like an idiot with my mouth open widely gasping for air!

There are so many interesting movies that are coming!! I want to watch Paul, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and also Kung Fu Panda: The Kaboom of Doom! I am just hoping that exams will end quickly. Ok now, I'm damn lazy to type. Actually I wanted to write more, but scrape that plan, I'm too lazy. Assalamualaikum(: Oh wait, I realised something. I only update my blog through writing but I did not update my affiliates and my blogskin. Haha! I didn't even update my tumblr link. XD But whatever, what matters most is my story. Right, avid readers? xD

2011-05-07T10:51:00.000-07:00

I took 3 days off from studying and now I feel panic because my brain feels so empty :0 Anyway, Assalamualaikum readers. For your information, I am suffering from insomnia. It's not like as if it's a positive result but I assume that I am an insomniac for now because for the past 4 days, I had been sleeping at 3.30a.m. I tossed and turned on my bed, read books, listening to music and even tumblring all night, but yet I still couldn't get to sleep. At least not until 3.30a.m. That sucks, obviously. Because I don't wish to have eyebags for doing nothing. The eyebags that I am having are supposed to represent that I had been staying all night revising my school work. Not by staring, stoning and dreaming, like how I did all the time.

I'm tired and uninspired. Recently, everything seems to piss me off. I don't know why. Moreover, what kind of weather is Singapore experiencing this whole week?! I can't stand the heat, it makes me feel like I want to stay at the South Pole. Beads of perspiration flood my forehead every time. Well, at least not when I'm in an air-conditioned room. Wah piang, takle angszx! -.- Cuaca panas macam gini lagi senang buat aku sot sendiri. So, kawan-kawan dan mat-mat gatal yang selalu seek attention through sweet talking and cari simpati dari aku (referring to a few), jangan haraplah aku nak reply message atau angkat call korang. I'll respond back to you, most probably at night, when the weather is cooler = heightens my mood. But, what to do... Patience is virtue (:

Anyway, I had a long weekend. For two days in a row, I flushed my money all on FOOD<3 muah muah! I like makanan ;D I thought of buying new dresses and shawls. However, nothing caught my eye. Tapi biler part makanan, *nom nom nom nom*, grab aje! Heheh >.< Perangai pig sia. On Friday, I had a hair cut! Now I have an unsightly hair style. I don't like it. On Friday, I also decided to buy the Tudung Instant, if you get what I mean... Basically, I am getting more lazier to twist and twist my headscarf each time I go out. So, beli jer lah tudung express. Just have to sarungkan kat kepala. Senang, take less than a minute. Puas hati, orang pun tak tinggalkan aku. And lastly, on Friday I went chilling at Starbucks with Khabir and I saw many makcik-makcik and grandmother-grandmother chilling at Starbucks too, you know. Heheh. Chey, canggih sey makcik! Sejak government bagi duit lebih, relax satu corner dekat Cafe eh. >.< Takpe lah, cute pulak tengok.

Alright, I am kinda in a different mood now. That is the reason why I am talking Singlish in this post. Realise it or not ah? Haha. I am super bored, everyone is already asleep and I am still wide awake. Kkay, wa mau chalo. Assalamualaikum.

2011-05-01T20:30:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I've not been studying that much because my brain just could not work for the couple of days ago. I spent too much time searching for hilarious videos that can act as a stress reliever. Fortunately, I found it! Mumtaz was the one who recommended me and both of us laughed our ass out for only-god-knows-how-long, in the computer lab where everyone was doing their F&N Coursework. The place was absolutely silent as if we're in the library and the only noise came from us. Despite the fact that some of our classmates told us to shut the hell up, we continued laughing. We did tried to laugh as silently as possible. However, when something is so goddamn hilarious, you just can't help it but to laugh like a mad dog. Right?

Haha, we laughed for hours and I did not manage to finish up my coursework on that day. Surprisingly, my teacher wasn't angry at all (: Hmm, something unexpected happened before we were about to leave the computer lab. (You know, you can't be happy all the time. That's life.) It made my blood boiled and it was the first time in so many years that I shouted at someone. Yes, I hate him! And that's final. I am glad that he decided not to talk to me anymore because I am sick and tired with his attitude. Grow up, please! How I wish I could go on ranting about him, but I can't because I gotta get ready to meet my friends later. If I could, I would. That boy deserves a harangue!

As for Saturday, I went to Johor with family and I shop till I drop. Since Big Uncle gave every Singapore citizens extra cash, my mum donated some of it to my sister and I. Happy! Thanks Mum, for the money(: Well, actually I didn't buy much things but I'm contented enough to go shopping. So, that was another stress reliever. On Sunday, which was yesterday, I didn't do anything much. I woke up almost to 2pm and had my brunch. After which, I entertained myself by watching a Hindustan movie. I started bathing at 4.30pm, awesome. I forced myself to study but I absorbed NOTHING. I don't know why. So, again I went online and look for interesting blogs to read and videos to laugh at. I am now inspired by this blog. I found this blog interesting and quite funny. Anyway, I got to know about this blog from the newspaper (: Yes, that was how bored I was yesterday till I looked up the newspaper, hopefully to find a source of entertainment. Alright, I gotta rush now. I am supposed to meet Leena at 12.30pm but I have not even shower! :0 Yes, I smell so bad. Nak bau tak? Hahah. Kay merepek. Bye! Assalamualaikum.

2011-04-23T05:33:00.000-07:00

Thank God, I've cleared my F&N O level Practical and English Oral for SA1 :) I am so happy that it went smoothly. Especially my Oral, it was such a breeze! I don't know if that was a good thing or not, but just hope for the best. As for my Practical, easy kick, even though I was quite nervous while cooking. But there are still more things that I need to concentrate on. Sadly, my misery don't end here. My examinations are starting in less than a week but I have not start on my revision yet. This is because I am rushing for time to complete my assignments that are mounting day by day. My school bag is getting heavier too, and I don't know why. I tried to bring lesser things but my school bag still weigh like 10kg. If this prolonged, I guess my bag will tear apart and I'll need a new schoolbag.

Anyway, currently chilling with Khabir at Coffee Bean East Coast. After almost a whole day of studying at Marine Parade Library, we decided to come here and chill. I was expecting the night breeze to sweep across my chubby cheeks but it is kinda humid here. I want to go home now but my butt is stuck to this comfortable sofa that can make me sleep any moment now zZzZz.... Oh, yesterday was Good Friday and the initial plan was to watch Justin Bieber: Never Say Never movie with a few friends. However, my friend said it was a boring movie. Hence, we decided to catch other movies but sadly most of them were rated and Yanney is still underaged. It was such a unorganized plan. A tiring day too. Because we went to Botanic Garden and I was wearing heels! -.- Alright, gottago now. Sayonara :)

2011-04-18T08:42:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is going to be a hectic day as I will be having my F&N Practical. The busyness don't stop there. I will be having Oral Examination tomorrow too, in the evening. Yes, how great and I am not prepared at all! Especially on Picture Discussion and Conversation. Depression ahead :/ I can't wait for the time to announce that my F&N Coursework has ended. It's going to be soon but I am not sure when. Hehehe. One problem solved by then. Relieved. Free. OMG CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT DAY! :DDD

kay chill, should stop. As for today, I was absent from school. I can't abandoned my bed today as it needs me to sleep on it. Yeah, I was too tired due to the whole week of dancing and weekends spent on parties and visiting. I'd no rest at all. So, I decided to take a break, stay at home whole day and only went out at night to grab stuffs for practical tomorrow. HOWEVER, Linda texted me saying that there was a malay listening comprehension today and it was graded for SA1. (Best!) And I was absent. Damn. So, I had to rush to Bedok Polyclinic, together with Leena and bought a Medical Certificate to prove that I was critically sick till I can't attend school today. Haha, dramatic much? Alright, I gotta end here. My eyelids are closing. Nytes.

2011-04-16T02:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my last moment dancing as a malay dancer in Ping Yi Secondary School :( How sad... Anyway, everything is now over. Alhamdulillah, Ping Yi Malay Dancers achieved the Gold Award for SYF competition. I am filled with enthusiasm because finally we proved to the school that we aren't that bad and we are capable to work towards our aim. I am so proud with the "Zafin Jadidah" dancers! Most of us cried. Well, as for me, I am not the person who likes to cry. However, my eyes were filled with tears of joy. But they were collected under my eye bags. Haha, it didn't roll down my cheeks. Stay strong, keep heads high and smile proudly :D But be humble.... Baru aje Gold *elham's voice*

SINCE THERE WILL BE NO MORE CCA FOR ME, I WILL NEED TO FOCUS ON MY STUDIES!!! I AM DESPERATE FOR A MATHS AND CHEMISTRY TUTOR!!

But thank god, one of my friend is willing to help me in Maths. But what about Chemistry? Urgh, I guess I will need to find a tutor. If there's a will, there's a way. Mid-year is about another two weeks and I have not start my revision yet. Mati uh aku :(

2011-04-11T08:17:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be my 5 minutes moment of glory! I hope I dance well, no mistakes, smile all the way, knees bend, loud vocal, good facial expressions and sugar, spice and everything nice lah ;) Most importantly, I hope I will not trip on my pants and stumble on stage. It was so touching just now when the dancers all read Al-Fatehah together because we really wanted to show to the Principal and Discipline Master that we are prepared for SYF. Two of the dancers cried. When that happened, flashback, since Day 1 when we started practising till today, came flooding my mind. That feeling was heart-warming. I almost burst into tears when suddenly we had to rush to the backstage and everything cuts just like that.

Omg, I cannot stop thinking about all the good and bad times the Malay Dancers of Ping Yi faced. Critics, being kicked out by other CCA because they wanted to use the hall/music room/ISH, lack of participants, beginners that barely knew the basics of traditional malay dance, mulish dancers that just won't listen to instructions and many more. The list would go on if I want. I am so impressed on the changes of the group's spirit (what I'm talking? Is my grammer even correct? o.O). The group's spirit used to be melancholy but now, I am dumbfounded each time we practise. It seems like as if we miraculously became better than expected. HEHEHEHE :D Feel so syiok! Kk, I should have an early night today and be well-prepared for tomorrow. Wish me luck pls ♥

2011-04-10T05:00:00.000-07:00

I'm suffering from a bad runny nose since the last three days. Taking the medicine is pointless because it doesn't get any better. Very irritating! Anyway, I had fun baking cakes and pizza with Fadhila and Khabir today :) Basically, Fadhila and I practised our cooking skills for our upcoming F&N O'level Practical which is next Tuesday. Scary :/ Besides that, we talked a lot. Many stuffs. I really had fun spending my time cooking and gossiping with them on a rainy Sunday :) Well, hope we could spend time together more often! Hmm. I planned to study for my Maths test tomorrow but I am really not feeling well now. So, will just swallow down my tiny, puny medicine and go to sleep! Hope I will get well soon so I can do my best for SYF performance :/ Takut sekali okay!

2011-04-09T20:18:00.000-07:00

I am having nightmares about SYF. I had a dream that my instructor said there would be no make-up artist for us and we're supposed to do our own make-up. I also dreamt that I forget my steps and worse of all, I stand at the stage with a perplexed face! Omg, two more days left. I am freaking afraid lah okay! :( What if I suddenly forget my steps? What if I stand at the wrong position? What if I fall due to the pants? Takut banget! Keep calm Qeen... Relax... Chillax... Take a soothing breathe...

Anyway, yesterday went out to Starbucks at One Fullerton. It was such a last minute plan. Met Khabir at 6pm and it was raining cats and dogs at the moment. Oh yesterday was Khabir's treat all the way! Heh. Thank you dude! :D Love you. We should go there more often.

2011-04-08T07:34:00.000-07:00

Mundane Monday. Taunting Tuesday. Weary Wednesday. Threadbare Thursday. Fainthearted Friday.

Absolutely not a fabulous week. I'm feeling lethargic, even though I didn't participate in the cross country today. I didn't even lead the cheer properly. Well, blame it on the weather. It was scorching hot in the evening and that causes me to sleep for 5 hours straight. Yet, I am still sleepy now. I've been slacking these days, these few weeks. I am just too tired and lazy to do my usual routine again. Really can't wait for SYF to end and for CCA to step down. After all this dance'dance thingy, I will push myself to get my A1 back. Please God, help me pull this through :/

2011-04-01T08:34:00.000-07:00

Kau tahu betapa ku sayang padamu

Hanya bidadari sebagai ganti

Hanya takdir menentukan ia,

Oh belaian jiwa

The most important, significant, awesome, understanding, caring, loving person in my life had just turned 49 on 29 March 2011 ! :D I still have not get a present for my mum yet :/ So, tomorrow I'm gonna try to look for it. InsyaAllah, I'll be able to find it. Anyway, may god bless my mother with a prosper life and may she lead a smooth and wonderful life ahead. As her daughter, I will try my best to be good and not disappoint her anymore :)

Anyway, I had lunch with Leena today! Omgee. I miss her very much okay. We're not that close anymore. Maybe due to school pressure. And I'm always busy with studies and dance and practicing my culinary skills at home. But today, within just a few hours, we managed to catch-up on each other's life that we missed. Laughed, cracked jokes, share stories, release anger and frustrations and also plan for tomorrow :) K ngantok giler! Bye.

2011-03-26T09:26:00.000-07:00

Anger is the condition where the tongue works faster than the mind. So, hold it. Before you regret the hurting lines you'll say.

Had a tough week. I'm just... ugh, I don't know. I only share this thought to some of my friends. How I wish I could spill whatever I am feeling right now, on my blog :/ I've been getting inadequate rest. My dance practice is almost everyday as SYF is just around the corner. Feeling so lethargic and I think my studies are starting to dwindle. This is bad, extremely bad. I can't afford to fail my mid-year. Oh please :( My F&N coursework is another burden. I gotta learn to make a new dish because my teacher decided to change one of my dish which I've practiced so hard on it! This is so last minute. But yeah, I gotta obey. Hmm, what else? I've been doing a lot of thinking. Letting my mind to rewind the past and see how much have I change since the past few years. Wonderful moments were captured, awful memories stuck in my brain and it remained vividly as I wonder what led it to become awful. Why is my life so screwed as I get older?

Some people are just being scurrilous towards me recently. Obviously, I felt malcontented about it. But at times like this, idrgaf. I just can't seem to give a fuck about it. So whatever gonna happen, I'm gonna keep calm and brush off the shits that are piling up on my life.

2011-03-20T07:20:00.000-07:00

If only March holidays can stretch longer, wouldn't it be so much fun? Sadly, it ends today. Tomorrow is Monday and school begins as per normal. Humdrum... Anyway, I had a blast March holidays! I have been enjoying almost everyday. I didn't do anything much. However, I really love what I've been doing so far. Hit the town four times! Miss that place so much(: Everything went smoothly only that my coursework was being such a bother. I stayed up till 2.30a.m just to finish up half of a section! When everyone was happily sleepy, graduating students who took F&N need to stay up just to complete it on time. It feels like I do not have enough sleep.

My birthday was last Tuesday :D Happy 16th Asyiqin! Thanks to everyone who wished me, who made a card for me, who surprised me with a birthday cake, with presents awaiting for me when I reached home and to everyone else who just made me feel better this week :D Dari hujung rambut hingga hujung kaki, terima kasih(: Till here, I am so lazy to blog now. Chao.

2011-03-11T19:51:00.000-08:00

I have to admit right now that I am scared and disappointed in myself. I had a whole week of horrible days in school. From Monday to Friday, my heart is replete with guilt, regrets and disappointments. I've been caught for humiliating a teacher publicly. Therefore, I've been punished to write the school code of conduct (which consists of 6 pages long with the font size of I think about 10?) TWICE and it had to be completed by that day. Things became more worse when the whole school knows about it, especially the teachers and even the principal. So, the DM did whatever is necessary and he helped to settle things out. I know I am at wrong, but I can't help myself if I hate someone. Either I would just ignore the person that I hate or I'll do something which helps to convey the message to him/her that I hate them. So, at least that would shut them up. But seems that things sometimes don't work the way you want.

On Friday, which was yesterday, I received my result slip. Failing English is unexpected! This is my first time ever, in my whole education life, that I failed English. My heart sank when I looked at my results. My points aren't eligible to go to a poly! Totally disappointed in myself :( If only I had worked harder... Hmm, nevermind, there's still room for improvements.

2011-03-06T09:00:00.000-08:00

Fine! I'll post something. I really wanted to post about whatever happened yesterday and today evening but I was/am too tired to do so. Clock ticking almost to 1am, my bed is calling but I'm stuck with Tumblr. Anyway, I want to make a promise with my Blog. I promise to you, my dear Blog, that I will update a post, a full, complete post about my F&N Coursework as soon as I finish it. Your expectations about this post: complains, whines, and a lot more of me bragging about F&N Coursework. I will tell you every single shit I've gone through, the downs, downs, downs, and there's never an Up in my Coursework. Not to forget, I will remind those young, indecisive lower secondary students who decided or planned to take F&N as their subject, to just erase that idea of their brain. I guess D&T is easier -.- Damn. I'm full of regrets now.

Anyway, I had a rather good weekend :) On Saturday, I stayed home the whole day without feeling bored. Yeah, challenge accepted Mummy *kening naik-naik*. I cooked Pizza and Chocolate Pudding! My pizza didn't turned out so good because I bought shredded cheese instead of mozarella cheese :/ And my steamed chocolate pudding turned into steamed sponge cake. World's biggest mystery huh o.O However, it was so delicious especially with the chocolate sauce! I should give myself a tap on the shoulder and congratulate myself :) As for today, I went to study with Raimov, Haslinda, Ibn and Hakim. Ah, it wasn't as fun as last week because Aron wasn't around :(

Just something to add on before I end this post. I couldn't sleep yesterday night. No matter how many times I tossed and turned on my bed, my eyes were wide open. So, I decided to play with my soft toys. Soft toys is a must-to-have-thing with me whenever I'm going to sleep. The major ones are Spongebob and Baby Tigger. While I was fiddling with Baby Tigger, I remembered 15 March 2010. Yeah, Baby Tigger is a present given by my ex-boyfriend on my birthday, last year. And now, I am going to fucking turn sixteen! Santi, now I feel you babe! Haha. The joy of turning 16! Well, I don't know why am I so excited about turning one to the six but it sure feels awesome. In two years time (kalau panjang umur), everything will be legal :) Omgee, I'm feeling so old now. Keep calm and stay forever young.

2011-03-01T05:43:00.000-08:00

Can you please stop complaining? My life feels more infernal than yours! If you think your life is so stressing, remember that there are other people who are facing more difficult challenges than you do. Life is never easy, you got to struggle if you want to be the best. Everyone wants to be the best, everyone wants to achieve something that they can be proud of. However, if you aren't showing any interest and keeps on whining about it, then might as well you stop what you're doing because even if you continue, it won't be productive at all.

I don't know what is wrong with me nowadays. Is it because of school pressure? Or maybe because I started to have lack of sleep and rest. I don't get it why am I always so annoyed at almost everything and anything. I am beginning to become more hot-tempered and every single thing seems to piss me off and most of the time my ears seem to be producing hot, smoky flames indicating that I am going to blow my top any moment. I started hating people, started to push people away from my life just because either I don't like them anymore or I am too busy to spend time with them. I prefer being in solitude and keep quiet especially to people whom I started to dislike. I tried to let go all of this, but I don't know why am I still holding onto it. There's just a part of me that still wants to remain being like how I used to be and not move on and become a stronger person :/

2011-02-27T08:10:00.000-08:00

I should relax, chill, loose my mind and take things easy. If I begin to panic, things might go out of control and the result will be sour. I should know how to divide my time equally - when is the right time to be serious and when is the right time to have fun. My mind is in a whirl, I don't know where I belong. Maybe I should just remain sitting on the fence. Don't know which way to go. I should just create my own path and behave independently. Stop listening to other's opinion and do what I like instead of giving in to people. I just...I just don't want to have another regret.

Two days had elapsed since Friday, "someone in our team is also like me, was...is lost" incident, and having this kind of thought at this age is so absurd and it left me with no motivations. Everything has just gone down the drain, flushed in the toilet bowl, washed away by the heavy downpour. The jubilant spirit of going to school starts to dwindle. I stop looking forward to school, I don't want to see anyone! Ugh, Linda knows why(: Thanks for being there babe. I should stop bragging about this, it doesn't make things better. If only miracles happen, now. Yes, like right NOW. God, please tell me what to do :(

2011-02-22T06:42:00.000-08:00

I'll be in the sky,

I'll be there, ohhh alright,

I'll be in the sky :)

Mind me. I'm being kinda crazy today. Much thanks to Ubai who made me laugh my ass out. We hanged out together, as well with Leena and Afiq. Suddenly, Ubai started dancing non-stop just to get his cellphone back from Leena. I swear, it was super funny! He was like our source of entertainment while Said and Ibn were away playing soccer. Three of us burst into tears of joy upon watching what Ubai is doing. Sadly, right now I am stress with my F&N Coursework. No time to do other stuffs. But I'm stealing this break opportunity to blog since I've got nothing better to do. Oh shit~ I haven't even study fully for my test tomorrow. Dammit. Dead Shit. Prepare for the worse.

2011-02-19T08:21:00.000-08:00

I don't know what had I become for the past 6 days. I've been slacking too much in my studies. It seems that I've lost motivations. My mind is in a complete mess now and every minute I will be worrying about what is going to happen in the future. I'll keep on thinking where will I end up next year. Chillax, I should relax! But I tried so hard and it didn't work. I prefer sleeping nowadays. It is the only time that I don't think of anything. The only time when I can find peace, the world just shuts totally - my mind is at ease. I would spend more time dreaming in classes and keep on staring at those empty walls. I find that time goes slower. I feel lethargic every single time. And studies suddenly seem to become my second priority. Ugh. What is fucking wrong?!

I may crack a joke or two. My face may always be engraved with a cheerful smile or even a wide grin. My eyes may always shine with the tears I had from laughing so hard. I may seem to be enjoying my life. But as soon as I am alone, my mood changes. I will start to think about all the negative things. I'm becoming more like a coward. I swear, I hate this feeling. Especially because I don't know why am I feeling this way.

2011-02-12T21:16:00.000-08:00

Highlights of the week: I hurt someone twice & I pass my Chemistry test! :)

Hey readers, there is actually more than just two highlights for this week. But I'm too lazy to reflect back what had happened. I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to that someone whom I hurt physically :/ I am still feeling guilty up till now even though I did not hurt him intentionally. But I already fulfill the demands from that person in order for me to be forgiven, so I guess there shouldn't be any reason why that person should hate me. Right? Oh ya, I am so proud to say that I pass my Chemistry PAL! :D It's the first time ever I pass Chemistry! Fuh ~ Bangga giler sia. K. Anyway, I'm just going to do a short post for today because I need to clean up my messy house, especially my room, as Fieyana is coming over very soon. We planned to bake cupcakes today! Hope it will turn out awesome.

I've becoming more lazy these days. Sometimes I just feel like flying, like a G6, to school. Or to anywhere. I started to slack in my studies as well and I kept on having the temptation to doze off in classes. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe because I'm too tired with the long days I had almost everyday. But whatever it is, I need to endure. Only few more months!! And... My mum expects me to go JC -.- But I know she don't put high expectations. Thanks Mum, I'll try my best :)

2011-02-03T19:16:00.000-08:00

I enjoyed yesterday (: Thanks to my boys who tried cheering me up. Chey, "my boys" eh? Heh, what I meant was my friends whom are boys tried cheering me up. They're so cute! You know how they tried to make me happy? By singing to the song Nothing Without Her with full of expression and it is like as if they're making a performance for me. You should see how cute and funny they were. Anyway, what about yesterday - initially my friends and I decided to go studying at Airport. It was such a coincidence that 3 of us wore the same colour - black and white. So yeah, we studied for awhile and then thought of going karaoke. So, we traveled all the way back to Chai Chee but our wish to sing out loud was destroyed when we need to pay $12 per person. We had a hard time deciding what to do and where to go. Finally, chilled at Tampines.

While at Tampines, we chill infront of a big drain which the atmosphere can really make me fall into a deep slumber. We walked such a far distance just to get to a bus stop that has 17 and 9. But the cold breeze helps me to feel less tiring. Okay, I should stop here. Will update soon again (:

2011-02-02T01:28:00.000-08:00

Less night phone calls. Less messaging. Less chatting. Less communicating with parents. Less eating. Less sleeping time. Less time to be updated with new songs. Less facebook. Less blogging. Less tumblr-ing. Less watching television. Less hanging out. Less chilling. Less playing around with my cat. Less time! Less shopping. Less movies. Less photography. All this means that I have no time to do all those things that was mentioned above. I feel the tension already. Especially on F&N! If only I stayed in Literature, I would have dropped F&N and take Lit exam instead. For the rest of the subjects, I am slowly improving. I think? I feel so glad that I improve on my maths! I failed my Maths PAL by one mark only. I couldn't believe that I almost pass the exam :D Thanks to Aswan(:

I won't be updating much nowadays. I just could not find the time. In fact, I've no time to do anything else. On weekdays, I end school late almost everyday. On weekends, Saturday is reserved for my grandmother. So, I only have Sunday to relax or go out with friends. Which mostly I will spend time on studying outside. Macam takde life gitu kan? I'm not used to this kind of schedule where I need to stay up late night just to complete my assignments. Nevermind, endure Qeen, endure! Perseverance yields success. Believe that you can do it :) Anyway, no matter how much I complain about my tight schedule, I'm contented that I start the year right, academically. Till here, bye!

2011-01-26T22:15:00.000-08:00

Bruno Mars ♥

I've been listening to his songs over and over again for the last few months. His songs always brighten my day. He is so awesome! *melts* Haha. Okay I know that this is so random but I just can't help it. Bruno Mars is just so cool(: Talking about all this reminds me the times when Zhorfan used to play the guitar for me almost every night. Gosh, miss those moments :( I miss learning how to play the guitar too! Sadly, I do not have time to spend on guitar or other stuffs anymore. My life is occupied with studies. I am having remedials almost everyday! I am so not use to this kind of thing. I have to sacrifice my sleeping time too. Sad, isn't? :(

Anyway, thanks so much to my Mum that allow me to skip school for today. I was dropdead tired due to yesterday's schedule. I had school > dance practice > rush to home > tuition > bed. I reached home from tuition almost to 10.30pm. Knock-out terus sia lepas tuu. I was too tired and lazy that I can't bring myself up to change my clothes. That was how tired I was! K, now I want to take a nap.

I miss Zhorfan :(

2011-01-23T06:54:00.000-08:00

Because when I shop, the world gets better. But now I'm back to being broke, and I can't shop :( And there's lots of new things that attract me in the shopping malls. It's so tempting and I'm eyeing on this Uniqlo jacket. It is a must to buy that!! But wa takde duit. My heart was boiling with frustration when I did window-shopping with Santi just now. Whenever, I've no money, there are so many things that I wanted to buy. But when I already have money, the things that I wanted is already out of stock. Macam cibai lah right? -.-

The world seem like coming to an end. The people whom I thought are decent in behaviour, turns out to become wild. It's terrifying. I still could not believe what I heard. Sigh. Just go with the flow and take things easy. Shouldn't panic, shouldn't get stress. My first priority now is my studies. I must clear my O levels with flying colours! Yes, its a MUST.

2011-01-22T20:00:00.000-08:00

Why?

I don't know what else to do. I hate myself right now. Lie after lie.

2011-01-16T06:21:00.000-08:00

Oh great, just so great. There's a Getai performance across the road, infront of my block and it is as noisy as hell. They blast the music and make it sound like as if the stereos are right beside my ear. It pierced my eardrum and my blood is boiling because I could not concentrate on my studies because of it. How annoying! I've been complaining to myself. It is almost to 10.30pm and the performance is not ending yet. Omg, memekak betul! To worsen the situation, I'm not really in good terms with my mother. At least, things are getting slightly better now. However, every single thing feels so awkward. So, I've not been talking to anyone lately. I just don't know how to express my thoughts now. I'm sorry, Mum. Urgh. Why do I feel so stupid? :'(

It is when I feel that nobody cares anymore.

It is when I feel so left out.

It is when I feel so weak to stand on my own feet.

It is when I feel that everything is so pointless now.

And that I think being alone is just the best way.

2011-01-11T06:14:00.000-08:00

Whoever is offended by this post, it's your problem. Peace.

Everything is already expected in the first day of school. And honestly speaking, I do not wish to go back to the past. Anything that got to do with the past, I am sick of it! I am feeling comfortable with the people I have now. They might not be perfect, but at least they understand me and they are humble. Seriously, all these while, I grow up with hypocrites around me! What is happening to the world? I feel like crying, I've no one to talk to. I don't even dare to tell anyone about this. You know, the moment things like this happens, you just feel like spilling everything out to a stranger because you know they don't care about you but are willing to give a listening ear. I'm trying to act nonchalantly, but I know I can't. Why am I being so decrepit now? Wtf. I hate you sia. How could you :(

To my friends, I'm sorry if I kinda drifted away. I'm sorry too if you think I've already found new friends to be close with. I just like the way it is because at least they seem to care. I still don't understand why we're still sitting together during recess but actually we aren't making any communications anymore. That is why I rather read a book during recess. That is why I rather keep quiet nowadays. Sick of everything, sick of making things work. I guess I should just go my own way. But you know, some people's mouth, mintak kena sumbat konek sia. My heart is replete with anger now. Even spilling things out here, can't help to make my heart cool.

2011-01-07T07:31:00.000-08:00

It's Friday, last day of school of this week! No point being happy because I still have to wake up early tomorrow morning because of CCA Carnival. Anyway, I love today :) At first, I feel very reluctant to go school but I'm having PE today. So, it's a must to see Mr Ashley. Haha. While silent-reading, I rushed to do my Bio homework and manage to complete in time. Bio was interesting. Of course, because we're learning about Reproduction in Humans. Then, had PE. Luckily, Mr Ashley didn't make us run 3 rounds around the field. I've been forced by Linda to play Handball -.- But as usual, I would go to and fro, just walking and look where the ball is going and not catching it, only if it hits directly at me. Last period, English. Did composition, and unexpectedly, I enjoyed it :)

Head to Temasek Poly for the open house after school. But before that went somewhere else first. Went there with Susanti and TFL. I was really hoping to bump into Zhorfan and yay, we did! But we just exchange smiles and say hi and walk away. Suck right? :( I saw many other people too! I saw Ira and one chinese girl from my primary school which I already forgot what's her name. Susanti and I head to Tamp Inter after that and had late-lunch. We laughed alot, talked alot, gossip, comment abt people, and I let my specially-given balloon, by this guy from TP, free into the air because it annoys me when I bring it around. Omg, Cotton On's on sale!! But sadly, I didn't bring enough cash just now. Gahh~ I saw Faizul too! He called up my name. Waa, he remembers me sey :D lol.

Reached home about 7.30pm, straight away took a bath and then studied maths for 2 and a half hours. At the same time, chat with Zhorfan(: Miss him. Anyway, when my parents came back they surprised me by giving me Kube! Yay :D Unexpected. And yeah, my sister took back her Kube -.- Tomorrow wake up early, I'm just gonna do my job during CCA Carnival, not gonna tire myself, not gonna force pple to join my CCA because basically it became suckier now, and leave at an early time. Going Ngee Ann Poly tomorrow with Zhorfan(: Hope there will be better choices.

2011-01-05T05:21:00.000-08:00

Second day of school, and I had a hard time waking up despite the fact that I slept an hour earlier than yesterday and that I have an extra hour to wake up for today. So, that explains how tired I am on the first day of school. Anyway, I take back my words from saying that I hate my new timetable. Actually, its not bad. I end school like normal time just that on Thursday I end a little late. Good grief. Oh, I must tell this! I had a new English teacher. And she sucks, I could fall asleep in her class like every 10 minutes. She speaks so soft, I could barely hear and she keeps staring at me like as if I'm doing something so wrong and that as if I'm so stupid that I have to listen to every single thing she said. Gaaaah~ Seriously, I want Mdm Lim back! :(

Other than that, things are normal. Not really normal, but at least I can still live with it :/

2011-01-03T05:50:00.000-08:00

School starts tomorrow. Damn, is this for real? All facebook users are talking about it. Not only in Facebook, but my mother also, and tumblr, and blogs, and chats as well. So sick of hearing the word 'school' already. I am so not prepared. My room is still in a complete mess! I don't even know where the hell I put my new books. I bet there'll be naggings and long lectures from the teachers on the first day of school. Prepare to get frust tomorrow. And for sure, Mdm Shahizah & Mrs Seah gonna kill me! This is because I've not complete my assignments yet. And recently, I just got to know that I've Chemistry homework to do. Wow, yay! What shit sia. Is this what they call Holiday? -.- I'm looking forward for Mr Ali's Nasi Briyani tomorrow :)

2011-01-01T07:39:00.000-08:00

Presenting the Top 5 People that made my 2010.

As many would expect, the first person will of course be my hot-takle-angkat babygirl - Norlina ♥ She's the best that ever been mine and she is the one that I spent most of my time with in 2010 and the previous year too. The only girl that always listen to my cries and will always be there for me. We are so close that I regard her as my own sister. All my secrets I share with her and there's nothing, absolutely nothing that I hide from her. I'm proud to say that we've never fought before, except for once when she gets so angry because I prioritise my ex-boyfriend more than her. Sorry. I couldn't imagine how my life would be if I didn't get the chance to meet her. I love you so much tauu :D Okay, I sound like a lesbian but whatever it is, thanks for being there all these while. You're the best.

The second person is Nur Haslinda Izwani ♥ Our friendship has stretched for 9 years now. I'm so glad that even we have our own group of friends that we prefer to mix, we're still close like before. Yeah, just that during Sec 1 we somehow drift apart. She's another one, a good listener. And what makes her more special is that she is matured. Not only by the way she looks but also the way she thinks. She gives the best advise(s) and is also a bright child. Just that she is lazy! Especially in studies. Kalau band, everything can -.- She always procrastinate in doing her homework and ended up not doing it and always get scolded by teachers because of that. But I'm amaze to see how she can pass her exams. Good right? Well, I hope that our friendship last even longer & last thing, hope you find the Mr. Right kay? :DD

Omg, where should I start? ^.^ The pretty girl up there is Mumtaz Begum ♥ To be honest, there's many things that I want to write about her. We knew each other since Secondary 1, but back then we aren't close. Somehow, we get closer in 2010. She has been my cooking partner in F&N and I only want her to be my partner, no one else, because I can only cook well when I'm with her. Tell you, we always get the highest and impress that old-cerewet-teacher. She is very hardworking and a good friend too. Also, talkative and a very fun person to talk to. Not only that, we're partners in India and from there we know each other much better. I enjoyed my trip to India mostly because of her companion. She is also my running-partner during Cross Country and we spent our time jogging/walking and singing to If We Ever Meet Again over and over again once we completed our 2.4km run. Overall, she is awesome! Thanks for coaching me in maths! Hope we stick to be bestfriends :)

Nur Fieyana Binte Abdullah! ♥ After about 2 years of separation, I'm so happy that now we're together again! She is my bestfriend since primary school, but as soon as we stepped into secondary life, we mind our own business. But you know, bestfriend remain as bestfriends :) We're closer now, just like before. Her house is the best place for hangout. It's like a canteen with varieties of food and a video-recording studio. The weather in her house is like Antartica. So, always bring a jacket if you wanna go her house. She is now so pretty. And she still keeps her habit - shouting. Yeah, she loves that.. I still remember when we were primary school and we always take taxi, taxi, taxi. And when we can't get a taxi, she would shout "62353535 PIZZA HUT DELIVERY". She'll be shouting that along the street until we get one. Haha, funny moments. I love hanging out with you, girl! Meet soon(:

Finally reaching to the end of the post. That guy up there is Muhammad Ammar. To readers, excuse the picture because he was putting his arm around my shoulders. That is old picture, I couldn't find any better picture than this. Don't salah sangka okay. Erm, I hope he isn't going to comment about this (if he read). Truthfully, he is the best guyfriend ever! He is the one that create a big impact in my life in 2010! He is outgoing, charming and a funny guy. His jokes never fail to make a frown-face turn to a happy-face. However, he is the most irritating and annoying boy ever. Even the teachers in the whole school agree with that. Nevertheless, he is the one that make me so depressed, heartbroken, lost hope, did bad for my exams, feel so afraid, lost trust on boys and simply built more anger on him. But let bygones be bygones. We're not close anymore now. But the memories stays. Seriously, I didn't regret a single bit getting to know him(: And whenever I said that I hate him, its so obvious that its a lie. Lastlong with yr girl!

These people are the ones that shape my life in 2010. Thanks for the memories. But that doesn't mean I forget the other friends too! So........ Bye 2010 and HELLO 2011 :D

2010-12-29T23:17:00.000-08:00

School is going to reopen in a few more days and here I am feeling very sick. I had tons of tissues to throw away. Like omg, the runny nose just couldn't stop :( My throat hurts as well but at least its getting better after eating some lozenges. I want to be present on the first day of school! So yeah, just hope this sick thing will be gone pretty soon. Currently waiting for Leena to come over my house and I just deleted people from facebook. I said, PEOPLE. Not considered as friends eh. I get so frustrated having hundreds of friends that didn't talk to me. Worse still, they're the ones who added me up but they kept silent. What's the point sia? -.- Anyway, I gave up half way because I just realised that if I continue this, I might need to spent another hour or so to clear the strangers away. So, I'm feeling very lazy and sick, might as well I stop.

My plan today was to study Biology. But, so not in the mood since I'm having this stupid runny nose. Oh, I watched Gulliver's Travel yesterday with Zhorfan(: Good movie, hilarious and they taught a few lessons too. We only went out for awhile since he need to go back early. He sent me home, even though I begged him not to. He very stubborn sia. Roll eyes at you! Reached home, slept for awhile and did my usual drills. And I should say that Linda can write good stories. I bet you'll pass your composition next time :)

2010-12-28T04:55:00.000-08:00

Guess what? I am in Berita Harian! I am serious, not joking. As soon as I woke up from sleep today afternoon, I checked my phone and 5 messages shocked me by saying my face appeared in the newspaper! Terus aku lari carik suratkhabar. Haha. Luckily my mum already bought it. Omg, thanks so much Mr Farizan for posting about us! :D I look cute in those pictures, thank god xD Aku bangga giler sey. Cannot take it. Really didn't expect Mr Farizan to post about it into the papers. Haha. Okay, should stop talking about it. My life today is kinda boring. In the afternoon, there's a problem with my internet connection that extremely pisses me off. So, I decided to have lunch with Leena at Macds. The weather was so cold! As soon as I reached home, rush to online and yay, internet is back! :D I've been staring on my lappy screen for the past few hours. I think I'm going to have myopia soon. Plus, eyebags are getting worse. And I'm getting fat. Hais. These are the disadvantages of having holidays.

2010-12-27T07:34:00.000-08:00

My legs are aching and I am fucking tired right now. Just reached home from Chinese Garden & Marina Barrage. Like finally, I've been to Chinese Garden :D Nothing much at there actually. Botanic Garden is much better. The weather today was scorching hot. So, I guess that explains why I am feeling so fatigue right now. Aku terus flat sia biler dah sampai rumah. It took me about 40minutes to force myself to go for a wash up. Anyway, I was out with Zhorfan. And as usual, I am the early-bird. Straight away head to Chinese Garden, his ancestors punyer tempat, and met his long-lost cousin & friends there.

Haha, only some people know why. After which, go to West Mall and had KFC. We ended up observing people and staring them up & down. Actually, its only me uh. And Zhorfan keeps on telling me to stop staring. But tsk, I couldn't take it. We don't know where to go and throw ourselves at Marina Barrage and chill there till 8pm. He sent me till Bedok MRT only. Okay, now I have to say that he is indeed very degil. Much degil than me! I hope he'll be able to make it this Wednesday, but its okay if he can't. Understandable. Anyway my friends has been getting prank calls lately. Funny sia, been cracking my ass out listening to the story. Reminds me of the old days. Ah, wonderful times ~

2010-12-25T21:24:00.000-08:00

Totally worn-out. Was out the whole week. I can't even remember when is the last time I stayed at home and rest. So yeah, feeling kinda sore right now. I just hope that my mum cancel the plan to go my grandma's house today. I want to sit at home! Hmm, been waiting for Zhorfan to go online since like the last 2 hours. I texted him and he didn't reply. Prepaid low, my prepaid also low. Wah, stress. Where you? Gee, I miss him terribly :( Meeting him tomorrow! Yay, cannot wait :D Haha. Anyway, sorry because I've been dozing off during the night phone calls. Takle angkat uh ngantok dier. Yaa really, these days I'm feeling like super tired and I just feel like sleeping the whole day but I just keep having plans.

Till here. Too lazy to blog already. Bye.

2010-12-22T07:43:00.000-08:00

School is starting in a few more days! I should be panic because I've not complete my homework yet. But I am not feeling anything at all! Not excited nor nervous. I've been procrastinating everything that got to do with school. I am so not prepared for Secondary 4 :( Anyway, I rot at home the whole day of Wednesday. I woke up around 11.20am, cook something for myself, eat, bathe and then sleep again till almost to 3pm. Sucha pig! I've been consuming chocolates all throughout and right now, I'm eating Oreo McFlurry (: How nice.

Honestly, I'm lazy to blog. In fact, I'm lazy to do anything right now except Tumblr-ing(: Today is Aziz's birthday. Happy Birthday dude! :D Sorry didn't attend your chalet because I'm plain lazy and most of my friends aren't free to go as well. My mum also told me to stay at home. So yeah, hope you enjoy your day(: Erm, I had enough fun yesterday. Omg, like finally I went Karaoke but Khairul was so memekak. He wasn't singing, he was shouting to the microphone! Bising sia. Aku nak feeling-feeling nyanyi sedap-sedap pun tak boleh -_- He need to leave early. So, the rest of us went to pick Zie up from work at Orchard. Haha, aku sebok carik seluardalam xD We had fun cracking jokes. Simply fun la yesterday. However, damn tiring. K that's all, bye.

2010-12-20T05:52:00.000-08:00

Aku benci sangat dengan Muhammad Ammar Bin Abdul Hafed! Serious sia, you're damn heartless. Omg, ntah macam mane dulu aku boleh terpikat kat kau eh. Bodo pe aku -_- You think you call me that, aku tak take it to the heart uh? You know or not what you just said? Mulut kau mintak kena jahit. Perangai tak berubah. Gi mimpi lah eh untuk dapat mataer yang alim, yang pakai tudung. Dah lah cerewet, ader hati nak mataer yang soleha. *puih* & suke hati aku nak tulis ape, nie blog aku. Kau kena marah ngan mataer kau kepe, aku tak kesah kay.

2010-12-19T07:15:00.000-08:00

Boohoohoo :'( The Converse bag that I want is already out of stock. I don't know if there is still gonna be around after a week but I hope so. It is the only thing that I've been looking forward to for today's shopping trip with Mum. But afterall, enjoyed it. I met Nadhira as well :D Gee, I miss her so much! She is still as kecoh as before. Hope to meet you again soon :) Anyway, nothing much for today. So gonna post something about Zhorfan. The reason why I wanted to post about him is because he is being mean to me. Revenge is always sweeter :)

Yesterday Zhorfyy came to my house because he supposed to teach me play guitar. He talk so soft! You think, you talking to semut uh?-.- Ehem, infront of my parents, act good only sia this boy. I tried so hard to strum it right but because I am a BEGINNER, I did many mistakes and kinda blur. I took out my notebook to wrote down the chords. The notebook that I use when I was in India. So definitely there's many drawings and writings on it. Zhorfyy read every single thing, damn kepo or what. And how dare he laugh at my drawings! Whereas, his drawings are much more worse sey. He took longer time than me to draw. He laughed so hard and aku pun terikut ketawe. We went to T3 during the evening and chill there. I don't know what's up with him, but he was simply crazy at that moment. Head home at around 8.45pm and as always, he sent me home. But before that we hang out under the block and saw Jebat. At least he recognised me and followed me home. Okay, this post is kinda long. Should stop here. Lastly, I miss Zhorfan (: I feel like squeezing his small eyes and stitch it together. Wait, before that, I would pull out his long eyelashes first. Haha. K bye.

2010-12-17T07:30:00.000-08:00

Ohmydarling, I am suffering :( I hate being sick. Down with a fever and having PMS too. It sucks big time. I get angry over the slightest thing and my back ache is not getting any better. Not to forget the stomach cramps which I knew will confirm kill me for a few hours. I am feeling very cold despite the fact that I'm covering myself with 3 layers of cotton. I slept for about 2 hours and suddenly my mum woke me up to force me had my dinner and take medicine. Since then, I couldn't sleep and decided to went online. Urgh, seriously this being-sick-thingy is damn annonying. I feel like writing a whole paragraph cursing about it. Mind me okay? I'm having PMS, so yeah.

Like fuck lar, I am fucking sick but I wanna meet Zhorfyy tomorrow. I request him to teach me play guitar. Like yay, I replaced the 4th guitar string already(: But damn, kanina, I am sick. So, I didn't have the mood to play the guitar. Qeen, please get better or else I'll swallow down 10 pills of fucking Panadol. Cey fake sia~ I feel like shouting and then straight away go to sleep. But I know I shouldn't. The cramp is behaving like cheebye. Nothing feels right. I don't know what to do now. I think I should sleep. Oh yes, before I end this post, my earpiece spoil! Another thing to be mad about-.- FML FML FML. And, internet connection is behaving like one bitch.

2010-12-16T20:48:00.000-08:00

I tasted Botak Jones yesterday! (: The burger is so delicious. Nicer than Mad Jack. Anyway, I would like to complain that I am having an awfully pain back ache and nobody cares to give me a massage :(

2010-12-16T01:40:00.000-08:00

Special thanks to Leena and her Mummy for the treat yesterday! Had a very last minute plan with my bestie to catch a movie. I only had 45 minutes to get ready and bathe. Went out around 5.30pm and headed to Plaza Singapura. Firstly, we didn't plan what movie to watch but after much consideration, we decided to watch Rapunzel. Ate at LJS first before the movie. Omg, I didn't expect Rapunzel would be so good. It was full house, even the front seats was occupied. I bet the ones sitting infront had neck ache after 30 minutes of the show. Haha xD And right after the movie, I started dreaming of having long hair. I want to watch that movie again!! Ate Samurai Beef after movie and then went around the mall first before heading home. Afterall, fun day with them (: Thanks again. Loveyouu Leena.

Reached home at 11.30pm and as usual I would be on the phone with Zhorfyy and as usual also he would force me to sleep early. But I insist him to tell me a bedtime story first. He researched for Little Red Riding Hood and bring me to sleep. Yeah, surprisingly bedtime story still works for me. Woke up 45 mins late from my usual timing and my mum called saying that she wanted to buy school books. Had Samurai Beef again :D As soon as I reached home, I am so eager to play the guitar that my sister had kept it in her room for god-knows-how-long. I totally forget about the guitar till my mother reminded me. But my heart shattered to thousand of pieces when I got to know that the 4th string break off. Walao, damn sad sia. But my mum said that she will replace a new string for me. So yay! :D

2010-12-14T07:37:00.000-08:00

Class BBQ was over. Curse the weather. If not because of the rain, things will be much better. But I had fun afterall. Didn't do much except playing some cards and learn how to play the guitar. The rest of the time I spent time trying to sleep inside the tent but Zhorfyy was a disturbance at that moment. It rained the whole evening so we started our BBQ only at night. And only at night, where I really felt that the event is alive. Sadly, most of our things were wet because we didn't care at all about it when it rained. So, the butter and cards were soaked. Luckily the food did not spoil.

As for today, I thought of going to the pit early but when I woke up, its almost to 11am. Rushed to ECP and delivered the paper cups and cutlery. Chat with friends awhile and then went to Somerset. I waited for a guy (Zhorfyy) for bloody 43 mins! I entertained myself by making origami using Fruitella wrapping. Bought the lens cover at Orchard Plaza and had lunch at Macd. Yay, ate Beef Samurai Burger again :D After that, went Bugis > Singapore River > Esplanade. I wrote on the wish ball again! :) However, the ball was wet because of the rain, so I couldn't write properly. Stayed in Esplanade for awhile and see a performance by this band. It was superb, even though they were just soundchecking that time. Zhorfyy sent me home again(: But when we reached my block, I had to meet my family at Bedok Inter. So went back to Inter and had dinner. But before that we chill under my block and snap photos :DD I flood his phone gallery. Haha. Had fun yesterday & today. But starting from tmr, I gotta stay home. This sucks :(

Eh seriously, I want to learn how to play guitar!

2010-12-11T08:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I had a long, tiring but fun day. Like finally, I get to go kite-flying at Marina Barrage and it was my first time fly kite tau. Went out at 12.50pm and bought some chips and drinks with Fieyana before heading to meet the rest. They were late! Met Aziz along the way, gosh miss him! As soon as we reached Marina Barrage we gobbled down some food first because we're super hungry. Then, we tried to fly our rainbow kite but we failed a couple of times, especially me. Our kite managed to fly but it didn't went as high as the rest of the kites that were there :( Sufian macam paham, he don't know how to fly kite but yesterday he talk big. He said he going to teach me, whatever lah dude~

I looked so funny in the photos where I tried my best to get a perfect jump shot. I swear, I look like a toad hopping sia, or like a pig flying. Haha, I couldn't stop laughing whenever I look at that photo. Anyway, view my facebook for the pics.We get so hungry when it reached almost to 6pm. So, we decided to have a proper meal but we were really out of idea of what and where to eat. At last we decided to went Marina Square. After eating, we wanted to chill at the river side but the boys wanted to go somewhere else, so we went separate ways. Talked so much about the past. And when we're otw home, my shorts kena charcoal! Chibai sia, then I need to walk with the kite covering my butt. So unglam, so retard like that -.- Anyway, I love today! Sumpah gerek. Especially when camwhoring and disturbing Sufian :D

2010-12-10T19:46:00.000-08:00

The past is haunting me :(

I always have the urge to cry whenever I talk or think about it. Why I am so stupid last time?

2010-12-09T23:31:00.000-08:00

Same shit, different day.

Again, rotting at home. I hate the fact that the big trees infront of my house has been cut down and now, every morning the sun rays will shine on me and forcing me to wake up due to the excessive light that I find it so annoying. Allowing my pupil to constrict to avoid massive amount of sunlight to enter. It suck big time because I wouldn't have ample time of sleep. Anyway, I am home alone now. Everyone went out and Leena just woke up -________- Pig sia you, now already 2.30pm! I told her I wanna hang out and she told me to go her house instead. Now I felt damn lazy, I don't know whether should I go out or not. Anyway, wanna thank Dinah for the blogskin! (: I love it. Finally have a new one, after so long.

2010-12-09T05:34:00.000-08:00

My sleep was interrupted again by my mum's call. She asked me whether I already bought my groceries for tomorrow or not. Bloody toot. I totally forget about that, so I told her to meet me at Sheng Siong so that she can accompany me buy the stuffs. Took a quick-5mins shower and even after the shower, I still look so masai. Ah, who cares? Anyway, I am seriously very bored right now. So, this second post will be a summary about what happened yesterday at the BBQ pit.

First of all, I love yesterday ♥ I should say that all the CDSS people are indeed very friendly. Not like Ping-Yians, its either they are shy or kerek. Tsk, what can I say... Back to story. Unfortunately, it rained quite heavily for about 30 minutes. Me & Zhorfyy was under the same umbrella for god-knows-how-long. Being under the umbrella also no use. We're still drenched. Thank god Zhorfyy brought along his jacket and lend it to me. Or else I'd froze to death. We tried to set up the fire and it took us like forever to have a good one. But the BBQ food turns out so nice. Only Rusydi, Jovian and Dan were the semangats one in barbeque-ing the food. Zhorfyy did nothing sia, except eat. Shukry most of the time sit and make jokes. Syafiqah went home early. At night, cycled with Shukry & Zhorfyy. Ish the coldness, I cannot stand it sey. Zhorfyy sent me home(: yay! But seriously, next time there's no need to send me back.

Now, I am scared for my Class BBQ. I hope it turns out good, like seriously a good one. But Zuhairi and Linda won't be there on the 13th :( Ugh, the fun ones are missing. Kay, done for today. Nytes!

2010-12-07T19:58:00.000-08:00

Like seriously, what is wrong with Tumblr? Keep on giving me the sign saying that they will be back shortly. Irritating sungguh. Since yesterday, you know. Well, nevermind. I will try again tonight. Anyway hello. I'm sorry about the previous post which I think I complain too much and that is why I decided to delete it. Hmm, I just woke up actually. Have not bathe yet because I am plain lazy to drag my heavy butt to the toilet. Most probably I'm going out soon to meet Zhorfyy and his whole classmate! I repeat, his classmates. He invited me to his Class BBQ. Giler right? I am so going to feel damn awkward.

Talking about Class BBQ, my Class BBQ seems dead. The money is in my hands but we had not plan anything on what to buy. Santi! Why you didn't reply to my comment at Facebook?-.- So, I decided to plan everything on my own with the help of my mum. Luckily there's Yanney that can accompany me go shopping for the BBQ stuffs. I hope things will go out well on the 13th(: Oh before I end this post, I would like to say that I had a great time talking on the phone with Humairah yesterday. I miss you giler babi okay! Serious! Cepat jumpe lepas awak alek KL tauu ;D

2010-12-04T20:15:00.000-08:00

I've just no mood at all. Fuck this feeling, I've told myself not to start it but I just can't resist. Can I just ignore everyone for today? I should have expect this, from the start.

2010-12-04T02:42:00.000-08:00

I miss that babe up there.

Thanks to Zhorfyy and now I'm already addicted to the song We'll Be A Dream. I know that song is kinda old, I'm so outdated-.- But now I couldn't stop myself from listening and singing to that song. Zhorfyy was being so sweet because he actually played the guitar and sang that song to me. At the same time introduce me to that song and now it stuck in my head. Anyway, get well soon (: I really don't want you to get sick because you still need to go for a date with me! Not only that but if you're sick, I won't get to have late night calls again. So, just get better okay? Omg, I just post a whole paragraph about you. Haha kay whatever ~

Anyway, I've done only 1 question from my F&N homework. To be honest, I haven't bathe since morning :p It was too cold and I'm just plain lazy. As soon as I woke up in the morning, I rushed to do the remaining paragraphs which I left undone yesterday. I tried my best to do Question 2 but I couldn't do without the help of Kelvin. So, I went to sleep instead and actually I've just woke up from my deep sleep :) No one's at home now. Except for my two cats which have been sleeping since I don't know what time. Going out later to have dinner at East Coast. It has been a long time since I've been there. Kay gotta rush, bye!

2010-12-03T06:37:00.000-08:00

Honestly, I am really very lazy to do anything today. I even asked my sister to make-up for me when we went out to my Aunt's shop just now. I didn't have the mood to eat and yes, I ate very little today. I just don't feel that hungry. I planned to go on a diet because I think I've already gained some fats during the holiday. I need to exercise too. Well, like as if I'm going to do that :p

I feel like screaming! I feel like bursting into tears :( I've just started on my F&N homework and I regret for not starting it earlier. And now I'm like one lost dog. Thanks to Kelvin that tried his best to help me with it. Tomorrow I don't think I would like to go out because I want to finish up at least 3 essay questions from my F&N assignment. Urgh, kill me!

2010-12-02T04:39:00.000-08:00

If my friend didn't called me in the morning just now, I guess I would be late for school today. Thanks to her, at least I am just 20 minutes late. Had to do a project at school, stupid project la -.- Me and Mumtaz can't be bothered about it and we talked mostly about Harry Potter and critisizing Twilight. Anyway, I wanted to post something yesterday. Yes, so badly, because I had many things to say about 1st December. But I am just so tired to do it. So, this post will be about whatever that happened on 1st Dec (:

1st Dec 2009

That's a year ago. Something happened. Which I regret for making that stupid decision and let myself suffer for almost 2 months. Since 1st Dec, I lost many things. Well, not until I snap back to reality and realise that I've been so dumb. The reason why I wanted to post about this is because I'm so glad that a year is over. I'm so glad that, yes, I'm totally over it already. I just hope people would accept me for what I am now, and not by judging about my past.

1st Dec 2010

Supposed to be my 2nd monthsary with Leena, in Facebook. But I went out with Zhorfyy instead. But today, sadly, Leena divorced me and went away with some guy! Idiot-.- Nevermind, I don't really mind actually. As long as she's happy, I'm happy. Eh girl? (: Back to story. I took a long train ride to Woodlands! Like freaking 1 hour and I almost doze off when suddenly I realised that I've only left a few more stops. Watched Harry Potter 7, and it was Zhorfyy's treat because he was late. Late brape minute je actually xD Anyway, HP7 was kinda boring. I hope Part 2 will be better.

After movie, met his sister, his sister's boyfriend and her friend too. Complicated much? Anyway, they are all friendly (: We took a bus from Woodlands all the way to Bugis and there's a traffic jam. I was sleepy in the bus but I couldn't sleep because the bus keeps on jerking. Zhorfyy disturbed me alot yesterday. Bought KFC and then went sheesha! (: Hehe. It was fun. At least I don't feel awkward like the last time I went sheesha. That turtle sent me home even though I've already said NO, so many times. Aww, so sweet. Thanks eh turtle. Next time I send you home, i don't care :p Anyway sepet, I want meet you again laa can?

This post is damn long la. I swear. Kay, meet me in Tumblr instead! Bye :D

2010-11-29T00:19:00.000-08:00

The feeling of not being able to tell what is bothering myself is very annoying. I don't know whether I am happy or not. Mixed feelings, yes that's the right word. I am worried for my O levels next year. I know I still have about 10 more months to sit for the national exams, but time flies fast. So worried that I might not be able to get into Poly and end up in ITE instead. Please god, I don't want that to happen. I feel like wanting to start revising back my subjects but I keep on procrastinating. I'm so kiasu -.- Next year, I am so going to study hard. No more fooling around. I promise that (: Action speaks louder, babe.

Secondly, I am sad because I'm broke right now. I left with only $20. Tell me how am I suppose to survive with only that small amount of money?! My mum will definitely not even care and expect me to think on my own on how to survive with only 20 bucks. Shit. That means she is not going to spare me money! :( Okay, forget it. Thirdly, I am angry because of Muhammad Ammar. I hate him. Yes, honestly from the bottom of my heart. I didn't do anything wrong but he's hating me. What shit? I don't know whatsup with him. Just because of a small thing that happened about a week back, he got so mad and don't even wanna talk to me. Maki me somemore! You go die la. Luckily, there's Turtle and my mum that helps me cool down yesterday. Thanks :D

Fourthly, I'm kinda in a good mood now. Yes for now only. Been humming and singing to myself. And the world feels much better. Music helps (: I miss Karaoke. I wanna go again! But I'm broke. Okay, now I'm feeling sad again. What shit am I talking? -.- Alright, I think I'm having mood swing for today. This sucks. I need to go, I need to sleep. Bye.

2010-11-27T21:09:00.000-08:00

I'm staying at home on a Sunday! I can't believe this. There's a high possibility that I am going to be infront of my computer screen most of the time. Wait. No! I want to learn how to cook Fish Curry. So yeah, maybe in the evening I will be sitting in the kitchen and learning how to cook :D Anyway, yesterday went to Kakak Nurul's house - Khabir's cousin - to practise malay dance. But we ended up watching movie and karaoke at her house instead. Omg, I miss karaoke very much! The last time I karaoke-d was at my cousin's house during Hari Raya. Itu pun, skejap jer. Around 6pm, I head to Fieyana's house and meet Yumi & Leena there as well. While on my way there, I met two people which I hope I won't bump into them anymore.

Yesterday night slept kinda early around 1.30am because was dropdead tired from making stupid videos at Fie's house. But I like :D As soon as I reached home, switch on my lappy and sign in into facebook, omg my hands just can't stop typing. Cuddle myself in bed and omfg, I had a nightmare! If I tell Leena about this, for sure she will say "Just forget about him!" -.- The whole night till I wake up, its all about him. Ader makna ke nie? Chey, whathell-.- Okay, I wanna end this post here because I need to take a shower. Tata :D

2010-11-26T08:07:00.000-08:00

Fantastic Friday :) I likee.

This is going to be a short post because honestly, I am super lazy to update. But I just can't resist to fill up for today because I had fun. Had a date with Leena ♥. Like finally I get to step into Town after so long. Yeah, because no more busy days. So, bought myself Uniqlo Shorts & New Look wallet. Yay, I've started on my shopping. Sooner or later, I'm gonna be broke again. Walked from 313, to Heeran and all the way to ION as well as Far East Plaza just to buy Fried Mars Balls. So tired from walking. We observed people. No hot guys uh :/ After spending enough time at Orchard, we decided to chill at Marina Barrage. So many foreign workers that stare at us with wicked smile. Scary sia. Reached home with blisters -.-

2010-11-25T08:36:00.000-08:00

I'm running out of cash and I have not even start on my shopping. So, obviously this isn't good news. I need to grab all the wanted stuffs before my money get washed away because of food. Last minute, my neighbour had to cancel the plan to Batam :( So, I don't know what to do during the holidays later. Most of my friends seem to be busy. I've been spending so much time with Leena. Talking about friends, I miss Khabir, sungguh! We have not been meeting each other for 17 days already. Where you, dude? Busy sangat dengan kerja sampai takde time untuk aku ke? :( Haha, step sedih pulak. Nevermind, I guess we spent too much time together last time. Anyway, Megat is sick. Saya risau sangat :(

I don't want to pick up your calls. I find it hard to reject it, though.

2010-11-24T07:09:00.000-08:00

Bad day :( It rained heavily all throughout the evening. I really thought that I would have a Wonderful Wednesday with the sun rays glazing at my shiny hair. Cey, feeling-feeling pulak. But unfortunately, dark clouds started to fill up the sky by noon. I was hoping that the rain would stop within a few minutes and good thing, it did. So, I went out to meet Leena and Zie, and I was wearing a long tie-dye dress. Guess what happened next? It started to rain cats and dogs and my dress was awfully wet. Especially the bottom part-.- Urgh, bad day huh.

However, my girlfriends never fail to make me smile (: Cracked jokes and Leena was damn hyper today. Don't know whatsup with her. We had KFC for lunch and I ate too much till I felt very lazy to move. Head to E!Hub to catch Magika. And the movie was not bad. Worth to watch. Should say that this Malay movie was successful especially because it is a musical. Before catching the movie we thought of going somewhere far from Bedok but because of the rain, plan cancelled-.- So, we decided to head home instead. But me & Leena went to meet Santi and just chill out. Now, Megat is home! He's been gone ever since I went to India. All of us don't know where the hell he went. But he's safe & sound now(: imhvm.

2010-11-22T07:59:00.000-08:00

Have you ever feel the pain on your stomach after you fill it with too much food? Not exactly on your stomach. But near your diaphragm. And then your chest felt like as if its being pulled out. You find it hard to breathe. Especially with your big tummy. At any moment, you feel like a pregnant lady and your tummy is going to burst. Urgh, this feeling sucks :x Had a long day today! Heavy breakfast, heavy lunch, heavy dinner. And now I am feeling so heavy. Like a pig. During the evening I had Dikir practise for awhile. Then, went to Simpang Bedok to eat. Rico Kakak Ipar's treat (: Thank you!

Okay, sleepy ready. Will do a proper post soon. Tata ;)

2010-11-20T22:17:00.000-08:00

If you realise, yesterday was full moon. It was the day that I've been looking forward to. I'm glad that I'm already back in Singapore safe and sound. Gosh, I miss my home so much. But now, I miss the India trip. It was awesome! Especially because I get to know more about my friends and teachers during the trip. When I first reached India, I felt insecure. It was early in the morning, about 3am. And there's already so much noise at the traffic. It feels like I'm going to die at any moment. The drivers horn their vehicle at every second. Whereas I don't see any purpose why must they do so. In India, you can find things that you cannot find in Singapore. For that, I am proud to be a Singaporean and appreciate whatever I had in Singapore.

I had so much fun with the MSMSV students. I make a lot of new friends in India. All of them are really very friendly and they always treat me for recess or any other stuffs. So kind, aren't they? All of them talk a lot and always seem to be happy. They are extremely friendly and I don't feel left out whenever I am with a bunch of them. The best part of the trip was Children's Day carnival that was held at the school. Super awesome! They even have a big Ferris Wheel for the carnival! How gerek :D All of us had a fabulous time. I went to many historical places and did little shopping. I only spent $100 there. Pathetic right? -.- Anyway, I am amaze to see all the old castles and monuments. Extremely big! I wonder how the people in the past need to walk a huge distance just from one room to another.

Oh, before I forget. Elephants, Camels, Pigs, Donkeys, Monkeys, Cows and Horses can be found all over in Jaipur. Even at the streets. The Singapore students were so amaze when we first saw those animals. Anyway, the Taj Mahal trip was terrible :( But I still enjoy it. It rained heavily on the day we reached Taj Mahal. We didn't get to go inside the Taj Mahal. It was superduper dark, tell you! Scary seh. My umbrella overturned and Mumtaz's cap keep on flying off her head. It was funny. All of us were drenched. And I had sore throat as soon as we're back in the hotel. Afterall, an experience which I can never forget (:

I should stop the sharing of the India trip here. Because I know if I would want to go on, this post will be too long. Perhaps I can even make a book out of it. Visit my facebook if you want to see the pictures. Not much pictures. I love this trip, even though along the way students and teachers had a little misunderstandings, we all still enjoyed it. Will miss all the jokes, laughters and the experience I had. Hope one day I would get to go for another trip like this again.

2010-11-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

When I was just 13...

I am feeling happy! Because internet connection is back to normal again. Yay :D and after meeting my grandparents I feel much more calm. Nenek give me $50, ty & ilysm! I know I've been missing in action in the cyber world. Blame the stupid internet connection uh. I can't facebook, or tumblr, or even blog. But thank god it went fine now. Anyway, I'm off to India soon! From 9 Nov - 19 Nov, miss me okay! Can't wait, 3 more days left :) But I will sure miss my family, Megat and my room! Not to forget my facebook account too.

I've been going out like almost everyday. Spent time mostly with my family and shopping :D Bought new jeans, new jacket, new tee, new camera also!! Thank god there's IT sale or else I won't get to bring a camera to India since my sister need the camera on 19 Nov for her prom night. And now, I'm wanting this Converse bag but my mum insist me to wait till I come back from India. Shit -.- It's okay (: Gotta stop here because need to pack my bag. Chao!

2010-11-03T08:49:00.000-07:00

That injection that I had last Sunday makes me sick :( I am having runny nose, sore throat and slight fever ever since that injection. I thought it is suppose to prevent me from getting diseases? Urgh, I hate it whenever my nose is having problems. It will itch and then my nose becomes red. After which, my eyes will become swollen and watery. And by the time you know, I won't give two hoots about anything else because my nose bothers me too much. Hell, my runny nose is flowing like tap water. It freaking annoys me.

Sebenarnya, saya dah ngantok giler. But because I want to blog and go facebook so much, I tried to keep myself awake by hearing to loud music. Anyway, I had a wonderful time today! :D Went out with Leena, Iqa, Aly and Arina to Sengkang Swimming Pool. Haha. Laughed so much, gossip so much. And whoever that didn't get to come, you all miss so much fun. After swimming, went to eat at MacD and each of us looked so dead. All of them headed home after eating while me and Leena went around to look for my jeans at Bugis. Then, Leena's parents came and we went to Bridge Road to eat. Thanks Cik(s)! (:

So, to cut the story short, I laughed like as if my voice is so low that no one can hear and that every single thing is so funny to me. I laughed so hard till my jaws hurt. So, that simply means I really do had fun. Kay, tgh otp nie. Suara tgh sengau XD daaaaah byeeee.